


At the End of the Tunnel

by comfortwriter28



Series: The Call AU [3]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comfortwriter28/pseuds/comfortwriter28
Summary: Justin’s hospital trip has farther reaching effects than anyone realizes that night in the hospital.
Relationships: Justin Foley & Clay Jensen, Justin Foley & The Jensens
Series: The Call AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1486958
Comments: 122
Kudos: 173





	1. Familiar scene, Unfamiliar Results

Clay’s always thought he and fear were well acquainted, he’s had panic attacks, then there was the time Tony tried to kill him on a camping trip, and the past few months of dealing with Justin and the constant worry about him even though Clay’s never been able to understand why.

Now he knows none of those were fear, not real fear. Fear in it’s true from isn’t just a flash like a panic attack, nor total misery even though that also sucks, nor is it the dread that dominated his thinking for a few months. No, fear is a terrifying, all consuming, long lasting thing that for him began four days ago with the phone call.

He still remembers in horrible, numb detail them piling into the car and taking off towards the hospital and meeting Tony in the waiting room, accompanied by police officers. Remembers words that at the time he didn’t know what to do with, still remembers them now and they only make a little more sense; domestic abuse, potential head trauma, internal bleeding, possible coma, victim.

He remembers being led into a room and seeing Justin on a white bed and not being able to breathe because Justin looked awful. There were too many bruises on him and machines he was hooked up to and he didn’t even know he was crying until Mom had grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently.

His parents had stayed to talk to the doctor, he couldn’t. It was cowardly but he just couldn’t be there. Tony took him back out to the waiting room, sat him down, got him a water from the vending machine and probably stopped a full blown melt down.

The rest of the night was hazier, just snapshots and voice clips. They stayed, all four of them. His parents alternating between the waiting room and the hospital room. Mom stepped outside at one point, at least he thought so. When in the waiting room Dad held him, rubbed his back, combed his hair with his fingers. He didn’t mind, if he’s honest with himself, it kept him grounded and he needed it that night. While his parents alternated locations, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the waiting room, the thought of walking down the hall to the hospital room and seeing the broken toy on the bed that wore Justin’s face but wasn’t Justin- it was too much but the thought of leaving was much worse. 

Tony stayed with him. Sometimes a silent, solid presence and sometimes telling him dozens of stories about nothing at all, just empty distractions that kept his mind from finding darker places. He didn’t acknowledge either but that didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful.

He remembers falling asleep. His head on a lap, someone’s hand covering his eyes against the overwhelming brightness of the overhead lights and the stark whiteness of the place, a quiet voice saying stuff in Spanish. The words meant nothing but he could understand it all the same.

The next morning Tony brought him home. He remembers his parents promised to update him with details when they had any. Tony stayed with him. They watched movies for hours and played video games and didn’t talk. He watched his phone anxiously but mostly all he got were messages every hour from Dad telling him they hadn’t heard anything and repeating the promise to pass along whatever they did. Eventually he learned Justin woke up but was tired and couldn’t have any other visitors. 

They had takeout for dinner. At ten Tony made him take a shower, brush his teeth, and sent him to bed. The older boy tucked him in and didn’t leave until Dad came home.

He doesn’t remember yesterday, he had to go to school but he couldn’t remember a damn thing he did besides sitting in Mrs. Antilly’s office because Tony brought him there. For some reason he remembers that in startling clarity. The woman, as warm, awkward, and gentle as ever asked him no questions about why he needed to sit there, only offered him a box of tissues and sympathetic smile. She filled the silence by babbling on about nothing important, her kids, granddaughter, her time in college. Clay was torn between hating her and being thankful. She does get him excused from history and French though and that’s good so he settles on being thankful. He goes to geometry because her office is too small and too hot. She tells him to come back if he needs to. He doesn’t. 

Today Justin is getting released from the hospital and coming home. His parents told him last night that it would be much the same as the last time, they didn’t know for how long and even though they tried to pretend everything would work out fine, Clay saw him in the hospital and knows better. He couldn’t find a future in which anything is fine. He’s sort of been avoiding Justin, well no not sort of, he’s been avoiding him. He isn’t sure how he feels about all of it and even though Tony offered to bring him to the hospital yesterday he hadn’t been able to even think about that.

He won’t be able to do that today, not with them in the same house, sharing the same room. He’s spent all day trying to convince himself that it’s far away and he doesn’t need to worry yet but with every period gone by that excuse has gotten less and less true. Thankfully most of his teachers cut him some slack and don’t really make him do much and he doesn’t have to hide in Mrs. Antilly’s office again either but he can admit this time it’s because he assumes she’ll ask him questions he doesn’t want to answer.

He’s on his way home now, he opted to walk, and not go with Tony, as glad as he was to have the other boy around that night and the day after, he’s sort of made a nuisance of himself asking questions Clay can’t answer. He knows Tony is trying to help, give him an outlet to try talking everything out but he doesn’t want to, afraid of what he might find if he really sits down to think about his emotions.

The house is empty when he gets home and he relaxes a little. Dad told him they weren’t sure when he would be back with Justin and Mom’s been working a lot. He thinks it probably has something to do with Justin but isn't too sure. Still because they aren’t back yet the nervous energy has more time to build and he ends up pacing in the kitchen. He started trying to do homework but eventually the growing emotions forced him into physical movement. 

He hears the car pull into the driveway and shut off and his heart is hammering in his chest now. He counts the seconds until the front door is unlocked and opened and Dad calls out to announce they’re home. He should go and meet them in the living room but he can’t make his legs work now even though he’d just been pacing. 

When Dad leads Justin in he feels the air leave the room. Justin looks better than he had a few days ago in the hospital bed, the bruises aren’t as prominent anymore and obviously he isn’t hooked up to anything now. In fact he almost looks normal, right down to the smile forming on his face. Clay attempts to smile back but he can’t seem to manage and of course Justin can tell right away it’s forced, his fades a little but he still manages to force words out of his mouth.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

It’s painfully awkward and Clay can’t bring himself to try fixing that, it seems like too monumental a task so he sits in silence and looks at an increasingly uncomfortable Justin. He isn’t sure who’s more relieved when Dad calls for Justin to come join him to do something or other.

Dinner is outright painful. Dad goes out of his way to make something good since it’s Justin’s first meal out of the hospital and of course Justin eats it and expresses gratitude and appreciation but beyond that they don’t talk. He gets roped into cleaning up after dinner and knows it’s because Dad wants answers. At least he isn’t demanding like Mom, he sort of waits, letting them clean in peaceful silence for a while before prompting.

“You and Justin seem at odds.” It’s relatively neutral all things considering and he could almost deny it except Dad wouldn’t let that slide. He thinks about it for a moment, which is longer than he’s thought about the mess in his head since this started and quickly confirms that it’s a second longer than he ever wants to again. It’s too much, so many different emotions and thoughts all vying for attention and he quickly pushes it away.

“I just-I’m confused.” He partly wonders when he decided to be honest.

“About what?”

“A lot of things.”

“Would it help to try talking it out?”

Maybe he should but he’s been avoiding that since Tony tried and he’s more sure now that any answer he finds is one he won’t like. Actually he thinks he has an answer but he won’t let it become a real thought, keeps repressing it over and over. “No I-think it’s something I need to figure out on my own.”

The man hums and then says. “I owe you an apology I think; I’ve been missing a lot lately and it’s unfair to you. I’ve spent most of the time not at work at the hospital and I should have spent more of it with you making sure you’re okay. I might have missed by chance but,” He puts down the dish he’s washing and faces him, “I’m sorry and if you decide you need to talk or want to talk, I’m here.”

A tiny smile makes its way to his face unbidden and he replies, “Thanks. It’s not about that but, thanks.”

He gets a tired smile in response and a nod. They finish cleaning the dishes and he heads upstairs. Justin is sitting on the couch and looks up at him when he walks in, eyes big and sad and the fading bruises don’t help. Clay walks right past him and pointedly ignores the N64 set up on the TV. It’s the first time he’s ever ignored those eyes and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth but Mom always told him when he was younger that if he had nothing nice to say to say nothing at all. He might have something nice...but he thinks if he tries talking, all the nasty stuff will come out first.

They only stay up another hour and a half. Justin showers and he’s glad to have the room to himself for a few minutes. When he comes back in, Clay brushes his teeth and then they go to bed. He doesn’t sleep and he doesn't think Justin does either. It’s a cold night and he can’t seem to shake the chill but he won’t resort to what he did last time this happened. 

Morning comes, slowly but it comes. He just has to get up and get through the day without stopping to think too much.

Unfortunately Justin corners him in his room when they get home from school. 

“Can we-can we talk?” Justin’s voice is the perfect mix of discomfort, uncertainty, and sadness to kill him. 

He swallows hard but replies flippantly, “We already are.”

Justin flinches slightly but replies, “Right. Umm, we’ve been weird since this started and I just want us to not be weird anymore.”

He turns the page in his book and considers denying it but it seems pointless to do so. “There isn’t much to say.”

“Bullshit, you’ve been avoiding me.” He sounds less timid and more hurt, frustrated too. Fine two can play at that game.

“Am I supposed to act like everything’s normal? Cause it isn’t. You almost died.” 

“I didn’t almost die I-”

“You didn’t even see yourself in the hospital bed or hear the doctors talk about the injuries.”

“It was fine.”

“Why? Because you’ve had worse?” Justin flinches a little. Good. “I’m not even angry over that, even though you almost scared me to death.” As he talks he realizes why he specifically avoided even thinking about this because now he has no way to deal with all the hurt of the realization he’s come to, the one he’s had for a while but never allowed to become a conscience thought because if he did it would never go away.

“Clay I-”

“No, I-I asked if everything was okay and you said it was. I guess I-thought-was stupid enough to think- this meant something to you-I thought if something was wrong you’d trust me enough to tell me, to let me help you.”

Justin looks hurt, that’s fine he’s hurt too, a lot more than Justin is. This is what he gets for ever trusting the other boy.

“But obviously that isn’t true. Guess you just wanted a warm bed, isn’t that what your mom does?”

Justin freezes and Clay knows exactly what he said, know it’ll hurt more than anything in the world and he doesn't regret it. Or at least he tries to convince himself of that.

Justin makes it easier after he recovers from the shock by sneering, “Fuck you Jensen, I didn’t ask you to try to play savior cause I don’t need you.”

“Yeah which is why you’re at my house cause _your_ mom doesn’t care enough to be around, again.”

He thinks for a second Justin might punch him but the other boy just huffs and storms downstairs. 

They don’t see each other again until bed time since Dad isn’t around to make them all sit down and eat together; they don’t talk at all. They don’t even look at each other when they’re in the same room. The only reason he can do it is cause he keeps stoking his anger. Any time he thinks he might be close to forgiving Justin, he just remembers all the pain he felt because Justin decided he didn’t deserve to know, wasn’t trustworthy enough to be told. It hurts, more than anything has ever hurt before and he can’t find it in him to move on from that so easily.


	2. 1 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lainie thinks over the strange situation she’s found herself in recently and comes to terms with a person she’s never really been fond of and plots to make things right between two very stubborn people.

Lainie takes a moment to rub her eyes as she looks back down at the mountain of paperwork in front of her. Things had piled up while Justin was in the hospital and she had been working on his case and now she’s paying for it. 

The worst part is how meaningless all of this seems now since she would rather be working on his case but there isn’t anywhere for it to go at the moment. He’s with them on emergency custody while the state looks for Amber but they are sort of at a standstill until she’s found or until the courts deem that she’s been gone for so long that she forfeits her parental rights. It makes Lainie outright angry because even after a stint in the hospital, child services isn’t willing to deem his home an unsafe environment even though it obviously is.

She didn’t need to go there to figure it out but she has actually been inside with him the day after he had been released from the hospital because there were things in the house he needed and the police department arranged for an officer to meet her and Justin there and let them in. The house had been small and dirty and in her mind, a reflection of Amber more than anything else. The blood stains were still there too, speckling the carpet and couch, coffee table and even the pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the floor. The bat had been removed for evidence, why the rest of this wasn’t she didn’t know but it didn’t exactly matter, the case was as good as won.

That’s the only good thing to come out of this because seeing Justin how he was in that hospital room...that was terrifying in ways she hasn’t felt since Clay’s pneumonia scare when he was little. She wonders if it’s wrong that she compares her terror at almost losing her baby boy to the terror of seeing one of his friends in a hospital bed but honestly they’re equal to her in both the fear they created and the pain she felt during both but in Justin’s case she could take comfort in knowing the person who did this to him, would pay for it dearly.

Still, it makes her uncomfortable how little she knows. Amber’s latest boyfriend had put Justin in the hospital, that everyone’s agreed on, but the details on how everything had gone down are fuzzy. She sure it’s intentional since her primary source for them is Tony Padilla.

Usually he leaves a bad taste in her mouth but she’s willing to admit that maybe it’s a little less than usual because she has a feeling without his involvement, Justin would have been in much worse shape. Tony called 911 that night but from the bruises on his knuckles, it was pretty obvious that the boyfriend’s broken bones were his doing and not Justin’s. She never got the full story, the way he told it, he happened to be passing by at the right time and found Justin in need. It seems too convenient but both she and the deputy had been willing to let it slide even before seeing Justin. After seeing him, she had almost thanked Tony for more than calling them and 911.

She just wishes everything was as okay as it could be now given the uncertainty. As thankful as she is that Justin’s out of the hospital and no permanent damage seems to have been done, physically at least, everything is not perfect. The boys are fighting. It’s obvious by the way they interact, both equally angry and hurt. She has no idea what caused it but she’s ready for it to end which unfortunately it shows no signs of doing so.

She and Matt have gone back and forth on how to handle it, she thinks it’s time to make them sit down and iron it out while he’s of the opinion that they’ll get a better result by letting the boys do it themselves. It frustrates her immensely but she resolves to give them until Sunday to figure it out, a week is more than enough. If by then they’re still being stupid and stubborn, she’ll lock them in a room and make them. It isn’t ideal, but it’ll get them back to normal quicker and she thinks that’s a worthy enough cause for being a little overbearing.

Turning back to her work, she finds her frustration at even thinking about the pair helps her concentrate and it’s enough for her to get back to reading the case she needs to turn her attention to. It isn’t ideal, none of this is, but deep down she knows Matt is right that the boys should sort it out themselves and she can’t make them be friends any more than she could keep Clay from being friends with Tony. If they need time, she’ll give it to them, within reason and in the meantime, hope all of this somehow works out for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the first of the half chapters I mentioned. Hopefully you guys like it and if not I won't make any more. This is one of the shortest things I've written, less than a 1000 words. I apologize for the shortness of it and mainly the chapter serves to explain a few things people were wonder, Tony's involvement, what Justin's situation is, and who did this to him. 
> 
> Next chapter will be Tuesday and is the long awaited make up between the boys.
> 
> Happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments!


	3. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay’s stubborn, it’s one of his defining characteristics, even if he’s utterly miserable and giving up can change that, he won’t. Luckily Justin isn’t as much so otherwise they might never make up.

A week after their argument, things are still the same between them. Justin isn’t allowed to leave the house for reasons outside of school and school functions so Clay tries to spend as much time away from home as possible. They see each other for about an hour in the morning and a little more than that at night. Mom and Dad aren’t very happy with him, he can tell but since Justin is out of the hospital, they’re back to normal schedules which means not around a lot to pry or be nosy.

Apparently Justin’s anger is short lived because most of the time he just looks sad. When Clay’s home he makes an effort not to look at the other boy’s face because he’s just so...miserable. Clay knows if he spends too much time seeing that expression, the absolute desolation mixed with a lot of uncertainty and confusion...and loneliness which is maybe the worst, he’ll cave and he isn’t sure he wants to do that, isn’t sure he’s ready to do it. Justin’s restless at night too. Clay hasn’t heard any trips to the kitchen and also hasn’t heard of any food missing but that doesn’t mean none have happened. 

It isn’t that he doesn’t feel bad, not that he doesn’t regret what he said but...he still isn’t ready to forgive Justin. The other boy lied to him and sure, he knew there was something going on at Justin’s home, there were a lot of things that didn’t make sense but when he asked point blank, the boy just didn’t give him the truth. It hurt, a lot, that Justin didn’t trust him enough then to tell him and it stings because he thinks other people knew, he’s pretty sure Bryce and Zach are aware and it stings that Justin told them but not him. It makes him bitter and a little angry, Bryce sucks, he’s awful and cruel and manipulative _to Justin_ but he still gets to know?

Even thinking about it raises his blood pressure so he avoids the problem, telling himself it would only be for a week because Amber would show up again and take Justin back to whatever landed him in the hospital in the first place. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth but some of it is directed at Justin.

School has been weird too. He hasn’t told anyone and he isn’t sure Justin has. Tony knows of course, like last time, but he isn’t even sure Zach or Bryce know, even if Justin apparently tells them everything else. He can’t see Justin telling anyone before them so he assumes it’s only the three of them in on it, almost like last time but so, so different. Tutoring is forced interaction but they’re both pretty clinical about it, Skye didn’t shush them once all week.

He thinks Dad has been running interference for him since Mom hasn’t chewed him out yet. She’s been home enough notice but he’s escaped getting pressed on it from her. Tony has been a bigger pain, constantly giving him a knowing look and somehow managing to say everything without even opening his mouth. It sucks because normally he would hang out with Tony when avoiding home but he can’t because Tony is almost as bad as being around Justin. He can’t really hang out with Zach for obvious reasons and that basically leaves him Jeff but even around his air-headed friend, thoughts of Justin still preoccupy his mind.

About the only thing that goes right is his date with Hannah, around her, he’s able to fully push Justin from his mind and heart and concentrate solely on her and how amazing she is. They watch the meteor shower from the roof of the Crestmont and they sit very close together- because it’s cold. He doesn’t remember a time he ever felt better. Going home...sucks more than anything else in the world.

It’s Saturday now and unfortunately, Justin doesn’t have a game while Jeff is busy, as is Hannah. He’s still avoiding Tony and Zach so that leaves him with...no one. He ends up going out anyway, to the park by himself. It’s fine but too cold to stay out forever and eventually he’s forced back home.

He still ignores Justin, hides in his room while Justin is in the living room and Dad is in his study working on stuff for work. It’s good, he doesn’t have to see them and they don’t come looking for him. Dinner sucks again cause it’s almost totally silent but whatever, at least Dad doesn’t make it worse like Mom would. He slips off to his room as soon as he can and that’s the end of it.

Or it should be except close to nine there’s a knock on his door and Justin comes in before Clay can tell him to get lost. The younger boy looks at him awkwardly and then says. “It wasn’t that you weren’t important enough to tell.”

“Justin-” His voice is warning because he doesn’t want to have this conversation, not in the slightest.

“It’s that I didn’t want you to know because I liked how you looked at me.”

He opens his mouth but for a full minute, can't say anything until finally he manages, “You like what?”

“Like I’m a person and not-not a mess or some poor bastard who needs help or glass,” His voice is strained and weak and when he ends it, just above a whisper. “like I’m not damaged goods.”

“I-”

“You would. Bryce does, so does Zach. I-I liked having someone who didn’t-who I didn’t have to act around but didn’t look at me like I was a mess and I-just wanted to keep that.”

Fuck, how is he supposed to reply to that? The worst part is the look he’s getting, Justin’s eyes are even bigger than usual, wide and sad and faintly glossy; his lower lip trembles ever so slightly and Clay can’t stand any of it but he still doesn’t know how to reply. He can’t stay mad at that face, not after so staunchly avoiding it for the past week but-he doesn’t exactly forgive Justin, not for putting that image in his head. When he closes his eyes...he sees Justin in the hospital and the thought terrifies him but worse is knowing that this has happened before, all the lies about fights has been a cover up for this. For Amber. 

Just thinking about her makes him bitter for putting Justin through this. He suddenly hopes she never comes back. He has no idea where she is and neither does anyone else so maybe it isn’t too much to ask, maybe she can really just fuck off forever and never come back and Justin can just stay with them where he’ll be safe.

“Clay?” Even his voice is heartbreaking. Insecure and worried and just so unsure about everything.

He closes his eyes and sighs, takes a deep breath and then opens his eyes again. “I don’t -really understand but I don’t think I ever really will. I’m not-mad anymore just-” He doesn’t really know how to finish because he wants to ask what happens if they do this again but this time the damage is worse and Justin doesn’t get off with just a few nights in the hospital? He could have-there were a lot of ways that late night hospital trip could have ended and most of them were really, really bad. 

Looking over he knows Justin doesn’t have an answer. How could he? Clay has no idea how many years this has been happening but long enough for Justin to have used some magic, cure all answer if he had one. 

Obviously Justin doesn't know exactly what he’s thinking but the other boy seems to have put enough of it together to look uncomfortable.

Suddenly he realizes just how much he would miss Justin if something happened to him, has already had a taste of how much he misses the boy from avoiding him from this past week and the thought of that being permanent is horrible, as is the thought of continuing the silent treatment against Justin. He sort of holds out his arms as an invitation and Justin closes the gap between them enough for Clay to pull him into a tight hug and just...take in the moment. 

He doesn’t need to figure out what happens if Justin ends up in the hospital again just yet because for the moment, Justin is safe and protected with him, with them, and he isn’t about to let the other boy go anytime soon, metaphorically. 

Physically, well maybe not that either, he lets the smell and feeling wash over him. Justin has a unique smell, a mixture of cheap deodorant, cheaper detergent and fancy cologne, now mixed with the smell of the fabric softener Mom uses and the shampoo he and Dad also use. Somehow he had forgotten how well Justin hugged. The other boy seems determined to remind him because at the moment this hug is like a full contact physical sport or like an octopus arm wrestle because he’s pretty sure Justin’s goal is to get as much of himself touching as much as Clay and...at least for now he’s just fine with that. Actually if the moment could last forever- 

But it doesn’t. 

Because Mom walks in.

At least she has the decency to look embarrassed.

Justin’s bright red and he squirms away from Clay who himself probably looks about the same.

She doesn’t say anything, just closes the door behind her.

The moment is broken though and he resents her for interrupting.

They end up settling on playing a video game because it’s-familiar and safe. It’s theirs too, well maybe that’s a stretch, two guys playing video games can’t really belong to anyone but it’s fine. For a while they’re both quiet, just enjoying each other’s presence rather than dreading it for the first time in a week. It’s fun. The silence doesn’t last though, Justin breaks it after about ten minutes, launches into some ridiculous story about the team that has both of them laughing part way through and gasping for breath at the end. 

Somehow he forgot how much he likes being around Justin, how easily the other boy gets him to laugh and how easy he is to be around. 

They stay up late, sort of playing video games but mostly just talking. It’s refreshing, with each laugh Justin draws out, Clay feels a little more of his anxiety melt away, by the time they decide to go to bed, more to avoid falling asleep on the floor and waking up with back pains and cricks in their necks, all the bad thoughts are a distant memory.

As they lay down he thinks he sees something wishful on the other boy’s face but when he asks, Justin deflects.

“Don’t worry Clay, I’m-I’m just happy we’re back to being friends. I missed you.” He punctuates it with a smile so blinding and uncomplicated, Clay could almost believe that one of them had been away for a summer or something like that and nothing else was going on. He decides he sort of likes that dream and holds onto it, at least for the night.

“I missed you too, lets get some sleep, tomorrow we can catch up.”

He turns out the light but despite how late it is, he forces himself to stay awake for a bit. Justin drops off pretty quick and Clay’s relieved and also slightly guilty. On the one hand he’s happy Justin’s sleeping again, on the other he feels pretty terrible that he’s apparently the cause of the younger boy’s recent sleepless nights. 

All well, tomorrow is a better day and for the first time in a week that’s a promise and not a threat. He’ll take what he can get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter! Here we finally get the boys making up and I know people will be disappointed that Clay didn’t apologize for what he said but I feel like he wouldn’t think to at the height of all the emotions and Justin is used for forgiving easy and so doesn’t push for it, sorry that this will be unsatisfying to some people but it doesn't fit in well anywhere in the chapter. Hopefully that doesn't detract too much from it and you still enjoy the chapter overall.
> 
> As for what comes next, it's going to be a chapter that fills in a few details on the night Justin ended up in the hospital as well as deal with Justin's emotions on another matter. It's going to be called a half chapter cause it doesn't move the story on at all but it seems like it'll be pretty long.
> 
> As always happy reading and let me know what you think!


	4. 2 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has never considered himself soft. He’s always been able to look after himself physically and emotionally he doesn’t get attached besides family. Clay is an exception and the only one. Too bad Justin didn’t get that memo.

Tony’s come to the realization that just as he’ll do anything for Clay, he’ll do anything for Justin too, no matter how uncomfortable it is. So when Justin texts him to ask him to come over, he does right away and is thankful that this time he’s relatively certain of what he’ll find, or rather what he won’t find.

The last time he got this kind of text, Justin was asking to hang out and Tony had heard more than one rumor that Amber was seeing Cody Mason, one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever exist. A drunk and druggie the man’s infamous as a debtor, Dad has had to ‘collect’ money from him before, and as a bum unable to hold a job. The only thing that out weighed his cruelty was his cowardice man. He’s the kind of man who would pick a fight with an old lady but not her son or a teenage boy and single woman but not a pair of cops. Reading between the lines of the text wasn’t that hard and even though he couldn’t play a decent game of basketball to save his life, he could at least try to make Justin’s easier.

Justin had been late to the park. Tony had sent three texts and then called twice before deciding to go investigate himself and when he got the Foley house he found Cody was the kind of coward to beat a boy with a baseball bat because it would hurt more his fists. The front door had been left open and a mess inside made the details on what happened next fuzzy. He does remember it ended with him kicking Cody in the ribs, the man unconscious, and he thinks it would have gone on like that had a whimper from Justin not brought him back and reminded him that even though Cody was an animal that needed to learn, he was the least important thing in the room. 

Calling 911 with his record wasn’t advisable but he didn’t have any other options and dialed anyway. While he waited for them he sat with Justin, who was a mess and not really coherent but did recognize him enough to apologize for being late to hang out. It almost made him go beat the bastard who did it again except that Justin’s fingers found their way into his shirt and clenched tightly and any attempt to pull away was met with a quiet whine that hurt him to hear more than anything in the world.

When the officers showed up and he told them what happened, they took his word at face value and actually helped. Justin was put in an ambulance and sent to the hospital, one of the officers radioed for another ambulance for Cody and waited with him until then while the other waited for him to call Clay and get him and his parents to join them at the hospital but it was in those moments that he realized he would do anything to help Justin, because he had spent years ignoring an obvious problem.

When he gets to the Jensen’s house now, he knows he won’t find a bloody and beaten Justin but he still isn’t expecting a sad and confused Justin. Since he and Clay had made up from whatever fight they had, both were noticeably brighter and happier so the demeanor is kind of alarming. The other boy leads him into the kitchen and Tony takes a seat and across from him and sort of expects the younger boy to talk without being prompted but instead of getting a rapid fire babble of words he has no hope of keeping up with, he’s met with a weak smile and silence besides a thank you for coming. 

It throws him for a loop because it’s so different from what Clay would do but he can work with it. The other boy makes a few false starts over the course of the next five minutes, Tony waits but eventually asks, “Don’t know where to begin?”

Justin blushes and shakes his head. He looks...ashamed and embarrassed, he won’t meet Tony’s eyes and instead prefers the table top dividing them.

“The beginning is usually a good starting place.”

Justin shakes his head but doesn’t explain and Tony bites back his frustration. The other boy needs time, he can give him that, it’s just a little annoying since Clay caves so easily.

“I miss my mom.”

That...isn’t what he’s expecting. He was expecting to hear something dramatic and outlandish, Justin was suspected of murder, or was addicted to heroin, or had secretly been homeless for months. This seems too simple and yet the look Justin is giving him-

Damn Clay had been right, partly at least. Since the beginning of their very strange relationship, Clay’s complained endlessly about how hard it is to refuse Justin when he looks sad. Tony lives with Graciella and is used to being given puppy expressions in hopes of him caving to a demand so he figured he’s be able to resist Justin as easily as he does her and so far, he has. When Justin wants him to do something dumb, like tie a rope to the tailgate of his car and drive while Justin wears roller blades and holds the rope….that had been easy to refuse.

This is totally different because Justin looks not only painfully lost and insecure but also a mixture of embarrassed, ashamed, and when Tony doesn’t reply quickly he ducks his head. He can’t tell if the younger boy fears retribution or thinks Tony thinks less of him because of the admission but in either case it sickens him.

He pulls himself together and manages to say. “Of course you do. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t.”

Big blue eyes look up at him surprised, hopeful, and not exactly convinced.

Tony meets the eyes and doesn’t flinch. He can’t understand missing Amber Foley but he sure as hell isn’t about to tell Justin that, the last thing he wants is for the kid to think his emotions are wrong.

Apparently that little bit of reassurance is all Justin needs because the floodgates open.

“It’s just-I know she isn’t a great person and a lot of people hate her and she hates them too but she’s my mom and I’m worried about her because she usually isn’t gone this long and usually leaves a voicemail or sends a text when she is but I haven’t heard anything from her since the day of-” He trails off and Tony knows from Clay that for some reason, Justin finds it embarrassing to talk about how he ended up in the hospital, like it’s his fault he can’t fight off a fully grown an with at least a hundred pounds on him and a baseball bat.

It’s sort of a problem because Justin shouldn’t find it embarrassing but that’s also an issue for another day, or days more likely so he schools the emotion off his face and nods indicating he understands and for Justin to continue.

“Yeah so, umm, I haven’t heard from her and I just like, miss her? Only a little.” The last part is defensive, like he has something to prove or something like that.

Tony steels himself, he’s about to walk into a minefield but he’ll do it, for Justin and for Clay. “And?”

The younger boy blinks owlishly as if he hadn’t thought of that. “And- I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Well I’m glad you did and that you told me but is there a reason you couldn’t tell Clay or Mr. or Mrs. Jensen?” He knows it’s a risk because it could be interpreted as he didn’t want to hear but thankfully rather than taking the Clay route of muddling everything, Justin actually answers his question.

“It’s just that they-don’t understand?”

Tony bites down a sarcastic comment about Clay not understanding because even though it may lighten the mood and be deserved, it isn’t helpful at the moment.

“They don’t understand what?”

Justin doesn’t talk for a moment but eventually says, “That. They don’t understand me missing Mom. They can’t-look past her faults.”

He bites back a more sarcastic and very bitter comment about it being a lot to look past and instead asks, “And it bothers you?”

Justin picks at the cuff of his sweater, it’s probably Clay’s or Mr. Jensen’s he doubts Justin owns anything like that but it’s warm against the chill and fits him reasonably well. If it is a hand me down, he idly wonders how much of Justin’s wardrobe is totally his own, bought for him and him alone.

“How would-I mean your dad and brothers are pretty scary, to most of us at least. But I’m sure you don’t like when people act like they’re bad people.”

The eyes are watching him from under their lashes, searching his face. He has a few options but he doesn’t know which is the right one to go with. He settles on saying. “It bothers me but I know that my family is more than the rumors.” He’s careful, he doesn’t want to brush Justin off but he also wants to let the other boy know that what others think shouldn’t affect how he thinks.

It seems to work a little because Justin perks up a little, lifting his head to look at Tony more directly. “Even though everyone else thinks they’re scary or bad?”

It’s not true, but it’s closer to the truth than he’d like. His family has a reputation and he has to live with it. Sure it can be very helpful but it also causes a lot of people to look and act differently around him. He’s glad Clay knows nothing about it because the other boy is basically one of the only ones who doesn’t and it means their relationship is totally based on the time they spend together and not colored by the Padilla name. 

He thinks he might get it now a little though. Clay is...super judgemental against those he doesn’t know and doesn’t like and often they’re one in the same. He sees what he wants to, what’s easier for him to filter the world though and he likes when people and things fit into neat categories and sort easy, even if it isn’t completely accurate. He’s obstinate and unlikely to admit when he’s wrong about his sorting of people and fiercely critical of those he judges poorly while willing to defend anyone he judges well do the grave.

Tony loves him for it as often as he’d like to punch the boy for it but he can totally understand where it would grate on Justin because he can’t see Clay sparing Amber any amount of contempt.

He can see where Mrs. Jensen would be the same and even Mr. Jensen, who never judged Tony, would be hard to approach with something like that.

“Tell me about her?”

Justin looks at him like he’s been given the sun, moon, and stars. With a sinking feeling Tony realizes something else, in the same way he can never hurt Clay, he will never be able to hurt this boy either, not with the expression he’s wearing now seared into his mind. It’s hard to pin down exactly why but he feels something stir in his gut uncomfortably and knows it’s true. Justin has Clay to look after him, but Clay needs Tony to look after him so what does that say about Justin? Better he watches after both.

“When I was a little kid she would take me to work with her at the laundromat she worked at before she started as a waitress.”

Justin talking startles him out of his thoughts but he realizes Justin doesn’t know he wasn’t paying attention because his eyes are closed.

“It was really boring so we’d amuse ourselves by commenting on the people there, we came up with nicknames for them and made wagers, who’s machine would overflow, who was the kind of person to remove someone’s stuff from a drier because it was done and they needed it. She would-slip off sometimes with people and leave me in charge. I was king of the castle for a few minutes.”

“After she would take me to the park and we would walk around. She’d make up names for the clouds and trees, sometimes she’d steal unattended food and if I was really good and she could afford it, sometimes we’d buy a hot dog and split it.”

“When it got too late and we needed to go home she’s turn on the TV and we’d watch cartoons, if we had power. If not she’d put me to bed and tell me that things would be better tomorrow. Sometimes they were; sometimes they weren’t but she gave me enough hope that they could be and that got me through some-some bad nights.”

His voice breaks at the end and Tony doesn’t comment on it, at first because he isn’t sure the story’s over and when it’s apparent it is, just for the sake of Justin’s pride. Instead he lies through his teeth, “She sounds impressive.”

Justin gives a grin and lets out a breathy laugh. “Nah, she’s never been than, but she tries her best.”

He decides not to weigh in on that either.

“Tell me more?”

Justin’s smile widens even more and he goes into a slew of stories, expired pudding water balloons from the window of their shitty apartment on rotten neighbors, soup that was more hot water than anything else when he was sick because she needed to stretch two cans for a week, her teaching him how to mix drinks and how to take care of a hangover, his age conspicuously missing from that one, and more. It’s almost scary how many fond memories Justin has of her.

By the end...Tony can almost convince himself that Amber isn’t a bad person and is willing to admit he judged her harshly. Justin is convinced she loves him and he could argue about whether or not that’s true but all it would do is hurt Justin who’s feelings he understands a little better. He can see where it would be upsetting to only ever be reminded of her faults because Justin...whatever he can say about Amber, Justin loves her and that’s enough for Tony to wonder if it makes him a bad person for hoping she doesn’t take him back but there’s no way that happens that doesn’t hurt him a lot.

He’s not sure he can continue to hope she doesn’t take him back either. He wants him safe and happy and one of those he can only be relatively sure of if Justin is with the Jensens but the other...he has a bad feeling it involves Amber. It’s food for thought but not something he’s especially looking to chew on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter. This is probably as far back as I'll go into this, certainly for the foreseeable future but hopefully it satisfies a number of questions, particularly concerning Tony's involvement. The chapter originally was going to be Tony comparing and contrasting Clay and Justin but in the end I like how this come out more, besides the connection in the middle I think that's a little awkward. This is also another half chapter but much longer than the other one so hopefully that helps.
> 
> Next chapter will be another long one and is full of cameos from characters...like full of them, and looking at being over 3k words depending on what i do with it between and when I post it. That may be the bad news for you guys, I'm not posting the next one until next Friday/Saturday since I haven't gotten nearly as much writing as I want done on this in the past week and need to make up for lost time.  
> Hopefully that isn't too disappointing but I feel like I just posted the last chapter and am already posting this one and it isn't sustainable at the moment.
> 
> As always happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments!


	5. Public Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People find out about Justin staying with the Jensens in a less than ideal way and it has undesired consequences.

Clay sort of wonders how this happened. He’s sitting in the principal's office with Justin. The other boy is holding an ice pack to his face to the side of his face where Monty got a particularly nasty punch in. He says he’s fine but Clay isn’t sure he believes that. They’re waiting for Dad to come out. He has no idea where Monty is and he isn’t sad about that. 

He thinks maybe he should be more nervous about this because it’s the first time he’s really in trouble in school but mostly, he’s just confused. He doesn’t know what started the fight besides Monty being an ass, he just knows he heard about it and came running to find the pair swinging at each other. He jumped in for some reason he can’t totally explain but by the time he did, teachers were already breaking it up so all he really did was raise his fist.

It’s enough to get him in trouble which he’s oddly fine with, at least he’s here with Justin rather than wondering where he is or what’s happening to him. It’s a small comfort though because the other boy won’t talk to him or anyone else except to thank the nurse for giving him an ice pack. 

When Dad comes out, he stands up and Justin copies, albeit at a slower pace. 

“Follow.”

He winces. Dad is only that curt when he’s angry. He leads them to the car and they get in. The ride home is silent.

When they get there he brings them into the kitchen and motions for them to take a seat. He then leaves with his phone and Clay assumes it’s to call Mom. He passes the time by studying Justin who wears an interesting expression. It’s partly panic, a lot of guilt, and also unadulterated fear. Clay wishes he could say something to get rid of it but he doesn’t even fully know the cause of it. He settles for knocking his knee against Justin’s which for a fleeting second brings a smile to his face but it’s lost pretty quickly.

When Dad comes back in he sits across from them and takes a deep breath. When he releases it he starts talking. “You’re both suspended for the rest of the day, according to everyone who saw, the other boy started it so Principal Bolan thought it best to be lenient. Lainie and I are going to talk about this together when she gets home and come to a decision on how to best handle this. I want to know now what happened. How about you start Clay, I have a feeling I already know what you’re going to say.”

He feels tongue tied for a moment but an unamused look from Dad loosens it. “I heard Justin was in a fight and I- came to help him.” 

It actually is that simple which is strange. He can honestly that for the first time in maybe his whole life, something happened and he didn’t think about anything before he acted. He’d do it again too and he doesn't know what his parents are going to do but he doesn’t think any consequence they can come up with could ever be as bad as the guilt he would feel for letting Justin get hurt.

Dad nods and Clay has a feeling that he said exactly what the man expected him to. He wonders if he’s supposed to feel embarrassed of his actions because he doesn’t really.

“And you thought punching someone else would be better than going to get a teacher?”

Not really but mostly because he didn’t do a lot of thinking and did a lot more acting. He opens his mouth to reply when Justin cuts him off.

“It’s my fault sir,” Justin’s never called his dad ‘sir’ before. “If I-”

“Patience Justin. I’ll get to you in a minute, right now I want to hear what Clay has to say for himself.” He gets a pointed look.

Justin clams up and even though Dad’s voice was calm he looks scared. He hates it but replies to the question. “I didn’t think I just did.”

Another nod and he turns to Justin. “And now your turn. Tell me what happened. I already heard what the principal had to say and a couple versions from others who saw but right now I want to know what you have to say about it.”

Justin looks at him doubtfully for a moment but eventually speaks. It’s to drop a bombshell Clay wasn’t expecting, not what he thought would have started the fight in a hundred years. “He learned I was staying here and he was angry.”

“What?” He and Dad say it at the same time but he has a feeling it’s for different reasons.

Justin looks away and continues. “He-he said a lot of shit-um stuff- and I got mad and said some stuff back and well he didn’t really like that and he punched and when he did, I punched back.”

Dad frowns, “What sort of things did he say?”

Justin blushes and that’s Clay’s first hint this is going to be bad. His second is the stammering which actually seems to frustrate Dad until he says, “Just tell me Justin, I’m not going to be mad at you for repeating what someone else said when I asked you to.”

The third is Justin’s continued reluctance before he recounts the conversation. “He umm he asked if I liked staying with you guys. Asked what I did to get to stay, suggested I-whored myself out to Clay” he looks away now, over at the cabinets instead of at the table or them, “when I said nothing like that happened he replied something must have cause you wouldn’t let me stay for free. Then he asked if-if you-and he said shit about Mrs. Jensen and Mom and I really tried to hold my temper but it was too hard and I said bad things back to him and then we fought.”

Clay can’t see Justin’s face very well but he thinks the other boy might be crying a little. Dad confirms it when he passes Justin a tissue. 

He’s just angry. Monty is a sick bastard and whatever beating he got serves him right. In fact, Clay’s willing to bet it wasn’t enough and he should have gotten a worse one.

Dad doesn’t say anything though, not for a moment at least. When he does speak it surprised Clay. “You know we don’t want or need anything from you, especially not _that_ but nothing at all. We want you here because we care about you and don’t want to see you end up in a foster home with strangers.”

Justin still doesn’t look at them but he nods and Clay wishes he knew that Justin totally believed them because anger has begun to give way to worry that Justin might actually believe Monty for some reason. That thought makes him sick.

It also dominates his thinking for the rest of the night. Dad lets them leave and when Mom comes home she talks to them individually, tells him he wasn’t very smart for picking a fight which is true and doesn’t seem surprised when he says, without remorse, he’d do it again. 

They get off light, Justin two days without his phone and Clay two days of not being able to go out with friends. He thinks maybe they aren’t really mad and just doing it because they feel they have to. He isn’t complaining, actually it means he can hang out with Justin rather than follow through on plans with Jeff he really didn’t want to do anyway.

The next day at school, though he learns the damage of everyone now knowing Justin is staying with him. Before homeroom he gets cornered by two different jocks demanding to know what was going on and why he was keeping Justin from hanging out with them. He also has to deal with Courtney pestering him and being a busybody asking questions he doesn't want to answer. They have an honor board meeting later and he’s sure he’ll get more then.

Bothersome as all of this is, it’s mostly just that, a bother. The thing that really gets him is the giggling. Usually behind his back, sometimes to his face, but in either case it makes him feel...gross. It’s girls, exclusively and he guess it isn’t too surprising because of Justin’s reputation as a lady’s man but it still unsettles him and he wishes they would stop. Especially because now that Justin is staying with him, some of the attention is on him. He wonders how Justin feels about all of it and he gets his answer in passing in the hallway, total humiliation seems maybe a bit of an overreaction but that’s until he overhears a group of boys he doesn’t recognize talking about Amber and how they aren’t surprised she left Justin behind. They imply he’s holding her back but Justin should be the best damn thing that ever happened to her.

He roughly tells them to shut the fuck up and they looks surprised and sorry but he has a feeling it has much more to do with being caught than any real regret which makes him angrier.

Getting cornered at his locker by Ryan Shaver for an ‘interview’ is both a new experience and one he never wants to have again.

“So, you and Justin are living together now.”

He ignores him.

“And word in the halls is that it’s been going on for a while now.”

And again.

“So what makes a star student open his home to one of the athletes he professes to hating so much.”

He shoves the books in his bag as fast as he can and heaves it up unto his shoulders, hoping to escape before it can get any more uncomfortable.

“Could Montgomery de la Cruz’s insinuations yesterday have been correct? Are we looking at a Romeo and Romeo for the modern audience? Two star crossed lovers driven to each other by-”

“Ryan! Tyler’s stalking the girls’ locker room!”

Hannah appears breathless next to him, face flushed red, hair messy, lips so soft and plump- wait what?

“Really?”

She nods urgently and Ryan takes off in that direction with as much speed as he manage while still looking over the top flamboyant. 

Hannah waits until he’s out of earshot before commenting wryly, “Good to know dirty journalism has more than one meaning.” She turns to him. “You okay Helmet? You seem dazed.”

“You’re beautiful when you’re sending nosy assholes on goose chases. I mean-you’re always beautiful of course but something about-”

She laughs, “Thanks Clay, but how do you know it is goose chase?” She arches her eyebrows challengingly and he flusters again before she laughs again. “It is don’t worry, you looked like you needed rescuing.”

He chuckles and agrees but any more conversation is cut off by the bell ringing and after promising they’ll talk later, he goes to class.

Jess finds him during his study hall and he doesn’t know for sure but he thinks she’s cutting something when she sits down across from him. He doesn’t say anything and neither does he, mostly cause he has no idea what she wants and it makes him nervous. He likes Jess enough and knows Justin likes her a whole lot. He’s worried she’s here for gossip, that she’s just as trashy as the other girls who’ve approached looking for vulnerabilities they could cash in on to endear themselves to Justin. He got progressively meaner to them as the day went on but all the fury he usually feels is replaced by icy dread. He desperately doesn’t want her to be like that and the terrible thought that she might be and that keeps him quiet.

She finally does speak in a low tone, worried and uncertain. “I heard about Justin, how-how is he holding up?”

Clay shrugs, noncommittally because although she’s doing better than some, plenty of others started the same way.

“I can’t imagine. I don’t even get along that well with Mom but if she left-” she shivers even thinking about it, “how did you even find out?”

Before he can answer she seems to realize she overstepped and backtracks. “Sorry, that was really personal and not yours to tell. I just- I hope he’s doing okay. I wanted to talk to him but he seems overwhelmed and I just couldn’t bring myself to but…”

She trails off and just looks sad. It thaws him a little because none of the other girls have seemed this interested in Justin at all, not emotionally at least. Either she’s misty eyes or an incredible actress and he sighs. “He was doing okay before today but this isn’t easy for him.”

When he gets no reply he continues, not sure why because he hasn’t told anyone any of this yet, maybe it has to do with not seeing Tony but still. “People are just so nosy and want to know all this shit and don’t even care about him and they have no right to know the stuff they want to and don’t care about Justin the way they should!”

To her credit, Jess doesn’t even flinch. Actually she looks somewhat impressed and that turns into a slight smile. “I’m glad that whatever happened, he has you. Thank you Clay. If you need anything let me know?”

He stunned but nods slightly and with that, Jess gets up and leaves. He has no idea what to make of the interaction because it was just so weird but he thinks maybe he likes Jess now. She didn’t demand details or ask why he was keeping Justin to himself or try to ingratiate herself to him. In fact, it looked like she just wanted to honestly know how Justin was doing and didn’t want to give him more to think about. That puts her lightyears ahead of any competition so far and he’s willing to say he’s cautiously hopeful that when Justin picks up a new girlfriend, it’ll be her.

It isn’t until the end of the day that he really gets to talk to Justin again and the other boy clearly isn’t happy with the turn of events. Actually he looks outright upset and Clay can’t figure out if there’s something specific or if it’s just generally the little secret coming out. He can only imagine that as much attention as he got, Justin bore the brunt of it and how that must leave him feeling. 

They find something to laugh about when he asks if Ryan ‘interviewed’ him too and Justin gives him an amused look asking if he has that to look forward to. He then relates to Clay that Courtney Crimson is setting up a ‘Go Fund Me’ page to be a reward for finding Amber. When Clay asks how much they’ve raised, Justin gives him a crooked smile and replies that when he asked the same thing, Courtney told him it’s not about the amount, it’s the thought that counts. The ‘thought’ is for Courtney’s college apps obviously but it’s still pretty funny in a very unfunny way.

The next day is even worse but only because Bryce comes to talk to him. The other boy approaches him with a strange look, a mixture of amusement and something darker. It’s unsettling at best.

“So, decided to ignore my advice and try to play hero?”

“Your advice?”

“From the party? Justin can’t be saved? Don’t tell me you forgot Clay, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”

He doesn’t know what to say for a moment because that wasn’t advice, it was cruelty manifest. Finally he settles on, “He didn’t have anywhere else to go, I didn’t see you and your parents offer to apply for emergency custody.”

The look somehow gets darker and tense as Bryce replies, “Why should I? When his mom shows up high as fuck he’ll choose her over you in a heartbeat, always will. No matter what you offer him, Justin will always go back to the abuse, I’m pretty sure he likes it.”

Clay takes a step back, or tries to but the lockers are right behind him. “How could you think that?”

Bryce smiles, it’s like a shark, all teeth. “Like I said, he’ll always choose it, must be ingrained in him, either that or he misses the pain when it isn’t always present.”

He needs this conversation to end, and soon because Bryce has somehow found the thing he fears the most, the thing he’s been pushing aside, refusing to think about out of pure fear of what the consequences of it happening will bring. 

Bryce knows too. The smirk he’s wearing says it all, he said what he knew would hurt and Clay hates himself for proving Bryce right but he can’t help it. 

“You’re just jealous.” It’s a shot in the dark but he needs to get rid of Bryce and get him out of his head now so he risks it but as soon as the words leave his mouth he wonders if it’s a good idea because getting into two fights in three days is a really bad idea.

Bryce doesn’t punch him though and instead sneers, “Why would I be jealous of you?”

“Because I did what you said couldn’t be done.”

This time Bryce snorts. “You haven’t done shit yet, Justy will still go running home when mommy comes back and then he’ll come running back to me eventually, just ask Zachy about it.”

Clay can’t come up with a reply because he’s terrified Bryce is right but he doesn’t have to because the other boy stalks off and Clay wonders if he somehow struck a nerve. The small victory doesn’t do much to console him though. The rest of the day is consumed with anxiety that he’s been pushing back since he and Justin started talking again and it makes him sick but he doesn’t know what to do, if there is anything he _can_ do. The best he comes up with is hoping Amber never comes back and that’s what he’s going to stick with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And welcome to a new chapter. Here we have Liberty finding out that Justin is staying with the Jensens and in case I didn't mention it n the chapter, I figure Monty saw him get out of Tony's car a few times with Clay and go home with them and eventually put it together. Speaking of Monty, he's one of the name drops in the chapter and joins Tyler who's the other. As promised this was the chapter of cameos with Jess, Courtney, Ryan, Hannah, and Bryce all appearing. I honestly never thought I'd write Ryan as a character and even though I don't care about him at all in the show, it was fun to write him here. 
> 
> I'm sure a lot of you noticed Zach mentioned but not appearing and that's because he's getting his own chapter but before that is a half chapter between Justin and a surprise guest who i think is underappreciated in the show and the subject of their conversation will be none of other than Monty, expect this chapter on Friday and the Zach one the week after (it's still being written cause it's hard lol).
> 
> In the meantime, happy reading everyone and comments are always appreciated!


	6. 3 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin’s never put much stock in adults before, when you have no expectations, it’s hard to be let down, but a few are okay and Mr. and Mrs. Jensen do a lot to improve his opinion of them. Enough to trust a different adult with something important.

Justin knocks on the door and gets a cheerful, ‘come in’ from the other side. He questions again if coming here is the right thing to do but it’s too late for that so he steels his nerves and nudges the door open and comes face to face with Mrs. Antilly who smiles like seeing him somehow makes her day better. He doesn’t bother to pretend understanding, just rolls with it. There are only a handful of school employees he even remotely likes, and only one he really does, but she’s pretty good. He’s napped in her office a few times and she’s always asked if he had anything he needed to tell her but never pressured him, only smiled sadly when he brushed her off. He thought about telling her once in a moment of weakness but stopped himself. She’s never chewed him out either for bad grades or bad behavior, never accused him of things like Bolan, Burns, and more than a few others have. Most people think she’s ditsy and stupid, he disagrees, he thinks she’s actually pretty smart and it’s all an act.

“Justin, it’s nice to see you, would you like to sit down?”

She has no idea why he’s here but that isn’t surprising, she’d have to be really good to guess.

“Thanks.”

As he does, she turns off her computer and the gesture makes him feel important, reminds him why he’s even trying this. Most other adults in this school would have stayed on their computer, splitting their attention between it and him but she’s different. It makes him feel a little more confident about coming here.

Before he can start she does. “Is everything okay Justin? You’re staying with the Jensens is that working out okay?”

He nods and before she continues he cuts her off, he appreciates the concern but it’s misplaced, the Jensens- he likes staying with them, even if it isn’t forever. “I was hoping I could talk to you about something.”

She nods, her expression more solemn now, and he continues.

“I-I know someone who’s in a bad situation at home and I want to help but I don’t know how.”

She frowns. “This is a serious matter Justin. Why don’t you tell me why you suspect something like that and we can go from there.”

The room feels warm, too warm in the sweater the Matt’s loaned him for the foreseeable future, it was cold and he didn’t have anything warm, the man didn’t even hesitate to shug the warm, knit sweater off and give it to him, now that he’s said why he’s here but he sucks in a breath and replies, “Broken bones, bruises, other unexplained injuries, and a hostile father.”

“You’ve met this father?”

“Yes.”

“And these injuries, where does this person say they’re from?”

“From fights or accidents, sports.”

“And you don’t believe them?”

“No.”

“Any reason?”

“They sound too familiar.” He manages to say it with a straight face somehow and to her credit, she keeps one too.

“Who is this someone, I assume a student here?”

He feels himself stiffen and suddenly the room is way burning and stuffy and the walls are too close and he can’t really breathe right but he manages to whisper, “Monty.”

She frowns and he understands why, the other boy is still suspended from their fight, an obvious reminder of it comes in the form of Justin’s still healing black eye and now he shows up in her office telling her he wants to help Monty. He’s willing to admit that maybe her confusion is justified.

It’s just that...the thing he didn’t tell anyone, not Mr. or Mrs. Jensen, not Tony, Bryce, or even Clay was what Monty was saying before the fight started. He was making fun of Clay, called him awful things, did say bad things about Mom and the Jensens, but he also said something else. He mentioned Justin should be happy she’s gone because if his dad ever left, Monty would be happy. 

It reminded him of their meeting three years ago at a party at Bryce’s. Justin saw a boy with a black eye supposedly from a fight but even as the words left the boy’s lips, Justin had known that they were the same, maybe not entirely, but at least a little. He had wanted to be friends, to have someone who would know what it was like, maybe someone who would make it all less confusing or if not, share in the confusion of not understanding why. But Monty had hated him, although maybe he took it too personally at the time, Monty was hostile but as Justin spent more time with him, he learned that Monty was like that to everyone. It was too late though, by then they were rivals for Bryce’s affection and support, not friends and not friendly either. By the time he started at Liberty, he could honestly say he didn’t like Monty at all, the boy was angry and explosive, startlingly cruel when the mood struck, and outright dangerous in the right situation. His mission seemed to be to punish Justin for being the favorite, and he took relish in it.

And yet, somehow Justin forgot that Monty is still like him, still someone from a bad place who everyone had already given up on. Sure his dad didn’t have the same reputation as Mom but Monty Sr. was not a kind man and everyone knew that. Justin somehow forgot that under all that anger and violence, Monty was just a scared boy who never got even an explanation as to why his dad was the way he was, why he didn’t love him, or if he did, why he did all the things he did. And Justin, his life had always been easier than Monty, he’s had Bryce to look out for him, had a safe place to go with food and medical supplies when he’s been really messed up, a lot of things Monty never had.

He also had the same lie for company on a lonely night in the part when going home was impossible and Bryce’s house was too far. A simple lie that up until his first stay with the Jensens, he had accepted as unconditional fact, that the evil he knows is better than the one he doesn’t know. Justin’s always believed it, it’s one of the reasons he puts up with so much shit. He was terrified of what happens if CPS came and took him away. He didn’t want to leave Mom anyway, but the thought of being placed in a group home or foster care, that’s where kids go to die and he doesn’t want to die. He’s read stories, Bryce showed him a website full of them, drugs, sexual assault, abuse, and the only ones he could get put in are far away, away from everyone he knows, the Jensens, Bryce and Zach, Jess, what would be the point in living at that point?

So he knows that’s how Monty feels but it isn’t true, there might be a way for him to get away from his dad but stay in Crestmont. He’s pretty sure Monty’s mom is around so maybe if his dad went to jail, Monty could stay with her and be safe?

It’s what he’s banking on, he needs it because now it might be too late to go back.

“And you’re sure of this?”

“Yes.”

“Well Justin, when his suspension ends I’ll have him in here to talk but don’t get your hopes up. Mr. de la Cruz is..stubborn and even when I file the report unless abuse is caught in the act, witnessed first hand, or testified to by the victim there isn’t a lot I can do.”

Her eyes soften and he has a feeling his expression must have caused it. “I’m sorry Justin, I wish it weren’t so but there’s nothing I can do if he doesn’t admit to it.”

He opens his mouth but she continues, “You might be able to help me though,” She looks thoughtful, “maybe if we both talk to him he’ll be more willing to talk back.”

It isn’t what he was hoping for, he really doesn't want to have that conversation with Monty but… “Yeah, I’ll-I’ll try.”

She smiles but he can’t help but feel she doesn’t think they have any chance of succeeding but that’s okay, he didn’t really think coming here would change anything, a small part of him hoped she’d be able to hocus pocus something but he guesses he always knew that wasn’t going to happen.

He doesn’t stay much longer, just long enough for her to promise she’ll talk with Monty and file a report. He doesn't feel accomplished but he can’t really blame her, just the system. She did what he thought she would and knows she’ll do her best. Has a feeling too that this won’t be the first report she filed for Monty’s sake and has a feeling it’ll end up like all the others. That means he has to do something and the thought chills him to the bone because he and Monty-they aren’t ‘bros’ or friends or anything other than Bryce’s dependents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, another chapter come and gone. So they mystery guest was Mrs. Antilly who don't appear for long in the show but brings Hannah and Jess together and also goes willingly into uncomfortable situations by offering to make sure they aren't alone in a sea of new people. I like her and don't have much occasion to write her so I figured I'd do it now to start working on the Monty plot line I have planned.
> 
> Next up is the Zach chapter which is written I think but needs work done on it. I may combine it with the half chapter I had planned for after it since neither would be every long alone. That should be up in a week and then we move on to some serious story stuff for a few chapters.
> 
> As always happy reading and I hope you all enjoy! Also Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy New Years and anything else I missed to everyone.


	7. Zach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay’s been putting it off, but he can’t anymore.

Bryce’s words stick with him no matter how he tries to get rid of them and eventually he does what he’s been putting off and tracks down Zach, who might be the only student in the whole school who hasn’t approach him about the living arrangement. It both makes him happy since he isn’t ready to deal with the other boy but also pisses him off because it seems to reinforce the idea that Zach doesn’t actually care about Justin at all which leaves Clay feeling more bitter about it. He knows it’s far more likely that Zach just talked to Justin about it and didn’t need Clay as a middle man but he’s still annoyed.

He hasn’t talked to Zach at all since Justin ended up in the hospital. The other boy seems to know he’s angry with him and avoids him too and they’ve been like that for over a month now. Justin doesn’t understand, for a while Zach continued to feature prominently in his stories but when Clay stopped laughing as much when Zach was involved, his name became less and less frequent in appearances and for the past week has all but disappeared. Too bad Justin pauses morosely every time the other boy should come up because it’s a dead give away.

Now though he feels like he needs to talk to him, just because of what Bryce said and it pisses him off that he can’t just put the assholes words out of his head despite trying for two days so he resolves to track Zach down and get some answers for himself. 

It takes some doing but eventually he manages to corner the taller boy during baseball practice. He waits until Bryce is occupied before marching up to him intent on demanding answers but even as he opens his mouth he realizes he doesn’t know what to say...not exactly.

Zach looks confused, surprised, and a little nervous but waits a moment for Clay to start.

“Why can’t Justin be saved?”

The only way for him to say anything here is to just be as blunt as possible and it isn’t exactly what Bryce said but it’s close enough, at least he hopes. Maybe he was too optimistic in that hope because Zach looks well and truly confused for a few seconds and eventually says, rather bluntly himself, “Umm, what?”

“Bryce said Justin can’t be saved that he’ll always choose his mom over-and that he’ll always come back to Bryce and then said to ask you about it.” He can’t bring himself to finish the first though but he thinks from the look on his face that Zach’s inferred correctly what he couldn’t bring himself to say. 

A heavy sigh comes from the taller boy and then, “Let’s take a walk Clay.” 

He almost refuses but he has a feeling Zach is looking for some privacy for Justin’s sake so he goes along with it and they slip out unseen and head back along the side of the school and cut across a parking lot until they’re on the opposite side as before, as far from the batting cages as possible.

“Bryce says a lot of shit Clay, it’s part of his mind games. How about you tell me what he said to you and why and maybe we can figure it out?”

Frustrated as he is that Zach isn’t immediately answering he replies, “Bryce cornered me the other day and told me that Justin can’t be saved and that as soon as he can, he’ll go back to his mom and then to him and said I should ask you about it.”

Zach frowns and then says, “I don’t know why he would say that...not exactly. Justin’s never, it’s not like I’ve been in a similar situation with Justin and he decided to go back home. Bryce was probably trying to get in your head and fuck with you, it’s what he does best.”

Clay weighs the response for a moment before asking, “Why?”

“Why does he do it in general? Cause he’s an ass who likes to get what he wants. Why did he do it to you? Cause he’s an ass who likes to keep what he ‘has’?”

Clay doesn’t reply trying to process the words before saying slowly, as if he didn’t come to the right conclusion even though it’s the only thing Zach could have meant, “You mean he thinks he owns Justin?”

“Of course he thinks he does, it’s sort of always been true and he doesn’t like that someone is challenging it.”

Clay can’t help the furious look that comes over his face cause he feels his blood boil at what Zach is saying.

All his fury is cut off by an unapologetic shrug from Zach. “I’m not saying I like it, just that this is how it is.”

“And you can just accept it that easily?” He can’t help the disgust that creeps into his voice.

“I hate it.

“Right.” His voice is doubtful and Zach sighs again.

“You don’t believe me.”

It isn’t a question, he already knows the answer but Clay asks, “Did you know?” 

It’s the reason he’s avoided Zach and he needs to know if the boy who always seemed to be watching out for Justin was only doing it for show. Clay can’t help but feel it was because sure, Zach defended Justin in basketball games and always seemed to look out for him but if he knew and never said anything then where does that leave him? He’s pretty sure Bryce knew too and if that’s his only company, Clay’s going to have to re-evaluate his opinion of Zach.

“Yes.”

He’s frustrated by how matter of fact Zach’s answer is, seemingly remorseless about it.

“Why? I thought you cared about Justin, how can you just let this all go so easily and be content with ‘how things are’?”

A flash over anger comes over Zach’s face which gives way to sadness and a helpless look and finally Zach says. “It’s fucking Bryce. He’s dangerous and he knows it.”

“How?

“Last year Amber was dating the worst guy she had in a while, at least as far as I could tell, and he and Justin got along even worse than Justin usually does with her boyfriends. Unfortunately Justin got sick and it was after Bryce started to notice that Justin and I were pretty close and Justin wasn’t totally dependent on him. So he cut off Justin’s phone so he couldn’t call for help and left him alone with that boyfriend when he was too sick to move. I-after that-he hurt Justin a lot doing that and I didn’t want him to get hurt like that again.”

Clay frowns he doesn’t like the story but it doesn’t surprise him much somehow in a sick way. “He can’t do anything now, the courts have control of the situation not him. He can’t touch Justin.”

The haunted look on Zach’s face chills him to the bone.

“Bryce doesn’t like to share, and if he can’t have it no one can. He’s willing to destroy whatever he can’t have, maybe whatever he doesn’t want too.”

Clay shivers but schools the fear from his face. “My mother is lawyer and Bryce’s parents won’t just let him use family money to mess with other people.”

Zach looks a little reassured but not much.

“Just be careful Clay, Justin, he doesn’t understand Bryce is dangerous so he can’t look out for himself. I have to get back to practice before they miss me.”

With that he turns to walk away and Clay lets him until suddenly he finds himself calling out, “Hey Zach?”

The taller boy spins around and looks at him curiously.

“Justin’s been bugging me to play some fighting game with him but I can’t stand it. Come over this weekend and entertain him?”

A huge grin breaks out over Zach’s face. “Need someone to curb his ego?”

A matching one breaks out on his own, “Something like that.”

“I can do that, let me know when and where. I’ll be there!”

With that the other boy leaves and Clay...well he isn’t sure he thinks Zach made a good decision but he guesses he sort of understands it. Obviously that incident he talked about was a really bad one and left him thinking Bryce was capable of anything and that scared Zach. It still bothers him but he did what he thought would keep Justin safe, both keeping Justin out of group homes and dealing with Bryce. 

He’s surprised by how daunting dealing with Bryce seems and he mentions it to Tony on the ride home. The other boy seems to weigh his words carefully before saying, “Bryce...is not someone I know well but I don’t think I want to. I would be careful dealing with him, his father is less kind than he is and a lot more influential, but I don’t think you should be scared of him and there’s no way for you to keep Justin away from him. They’ve known each other a long time and have been through a lot together, for better or worse, and I don’t see that relationship going anywhere anytime soon.”

It gives him a little hope but he still finds it daunting. When he gets home Justin is waiting for him, he can’t help but compare it to a puppy waiting, and immediately wants to do things. To be fair, he still isn’t allowed to use his phone and must be bored out of his skull. Thoughts of Bryce are quickly banished and happier ones take their place. The other boy can’t really be _that_ dangerous, it’s not like he can interfere with the custody order or anything. Tony’s right and Zach’s paranoid. Right now, he’s just going to enjoy time with Justin.

Saturday comes and his parents are out for the day, he isn’t sure why and can’t really say he cares all that much beyond Justin being restless and annoying which in his defense, after about a month of being trapped, Clay might be too. Still, he had thought maybe he and Justin could enjoy some time together except he got hit by a huge assignment from his honors class that he has to work on. Thankfully Zach is coming and should keep Justin out of his hair for a bit, maybe. He hasn’t told Justin that Zach is coming, figures he could let it be a surprise. Unfortunately for that to work, he has to not kill the younger boy before Zach comes, and Justin is determined to make that as hard as possible.

“I’m booorrrrrred.”

Clay bites his tongue because this is the third time in three minutes Justin has said so, in increasingly whiny voices. If he replies he’s doomed, Justin will smell weakness and it’ll be all over for him getting this essay done. On the other hand, ignore him is _so_ hard when Clay kind of wants to throw something at him. He knows if he moves rooms Justin will follow him eventually so that won’t help at all and he’s more comfortable in the bedroom.

So he waits, counting down the seconds until Zach gets here and can distract his currently unreasonably annoying roommate long enough for him to make some headway on this assignment. Unfortunately he didn’t really give Zach a time to come just said after ten and it’s ten thirty now so he has no idea when he can expect his deliverance. 

The bell does ring, after a seemingly impossible time that a quick glance at the clock confirms is only three minutes. He sends Justin down and follows at a distance. The door opens and Zach is indeed standing on the porch and he can’t see Justin’s face but if lights up even half as well as Zach’s, this plan may just work.

The conversation is loud enough for him to hear but much too fast, Justin’s words all blend together as the boy seems to expel all the air from his lungs in a single word that he can’t make sense of but apparently Zach can somehow.

He leaves them and returns to the room intent on getting more of his work done but despite the closed door, he can easily hear the pair below. Not distinctly but enough for it to be distracting. He tries to push the frustration aside cause they deserve to enjoy each other’s company finally but he ends up giving up on his assignment a paragraph in when he hears raucous shouting.

He heads downstairs to find the video games devolved into a wrestling match with Justin making no headway at all against the taller, heavier and generally stronger Zach. Still both have smiles plastered on their faces and Clay slips back upstairs. The two clearly have, well maybe not been at odds but haven’t been as close as in the past and this is a chance for them to fix that. He’ll let them, Justin, the smile he’s wearing isn’t one Clay’s seen before and it looks good on him. The wild light and sheer happiness glow in a toothy smile and breathless laughs that mingle with Zach’s and well, it’s something Clay would like to hold onto as long as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a new chapter! First I apologize for inactivity but I've been busy and haven't had much time, that goes into any errors in this chapter cause I've proof read it but maybe not as much as I should have, my hope is to catch up on stuff tomorrow. In any case, we finally get Zach in the story and Clay learning a bit more about Bryce and Justin's relationship. It also brings his and Clay's fight to an end.
> 
> Next chapter is a big story chapter so stay tuned, should be out a week from now!
> 
> Hope you all had Merry Christmases,Happy Hanukkahs, and I hope to seeing you in the new year!


	8. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber is coming home.

Dinner is an uncomfortable affair which surprises Clay. Justin is as happy as ever, laying into the pork chops with gusto and he himself isn't particularly cranky. When dinner is awkward it’s always one of their faults...usually his but Justin does it too!

No, tonight Dad’s the problem. He’s obviously unhappy about something but none of Clay’s prodding gets anything out of him. He asks about work, an argument with Mom, money problems when he can’t think of anything else. In the end though he rules out all of them as possible causes because of how Dad replies.

Justin’s tense throughout this whole thing despite Clay trying to be casual about it and he eats almost twice as much as he usually would and Clay isn’t sure he breathes while doing so. Finally though it seems Justin reaches the point where not even stress eating is enough to deal with the stress because he says.

“It’s me isn’t it?” He looks guilty, eyes boring into the table like he’s trying to set it on fire and his knuckles white around the fork in his hand, thankfully the knife is on his plate. 

The door opens and Mom comes in, breaking the tension for about a second before it skyrockets again. Rather than heading upstairs to change she comes right to the kitchen and Clay can already tell something’s wrong. She looks as unhappy as Dad and tense too.

She takes her seat at the table and smiles but it’s strained, and directed at Justin.

“Are you sending me away?”

Three of them look like they’ve been shocked and Clay almost misses the look his parents share while trying to figure out how Justin could come up with that idea.

“Never,” mixes with, “Not unless you want to.”

Justin shakes his head earnestly and Clay feels air return to the room.

His celebration is short lived.

Mom reaches across the table and takes Justin’s hands and sighs heavily.

“I’m sorry Justin, if we ever gave you the impression we felt that way because we don’t. We love having you here and hope you like being here too.” 

Justin nods shyly, looking up at her from behind his eyelashes as his gaze remains on the table. Clearly he isn’t sold on what she’s saying and Clay knows it isn’t this simple, he can feel something going on. His suspicions are confirmed as she continues.

“We do have news though and we don’t know how to tell you. We only found out a little while ago and needed to wait for something before we told you in case it wasn’t correct, and we hoped it wasn’t but it is.”

Even Dad looks paler now, a solemn look comes over his face replacing the tenseness that had been there through dinner.

“Earlier today we both got calls from the Crestmont Police Department believing they found your mother.” 

Every word seemed harder and harder for her to get out and both he and Justin wait with growing apprehension to hear what she says. 

“I’m sorry Justin but she didn’t make it.”

No one breaths for several seconds. The silence in the room is so thick, Clay forgets what sound is for a moment.

“How?”

Justin whispers it and his voice is almost level but Clay has a feeling it’s because he only said one word.

“They aren’t sure yet but they suspect an overdose.”

For a moment nothing happens and the air feels oppressive, no one moves or breaths or anything really and then he can’t help it. He asks what he and Justin are thinking, what he hopes his parents have an answer for because if they don’t he has no idea what to do.

“What happens now?”

“For the moment we worry about putting Amber to rest and then we can figure out the rest.”

Putting Amber to rest. The thought sickens Clay. He doesn’t want some ceremony for her, doesn't want people to come and pretend she was a person who deserved to be born when her only accomplishment, the only thing she ever did right, was have Justin but then she went and failed him in every conceivable way after that. Actually it makes him angry that people would even come out for something like that when she doesn’t deserve it.

“I don’t have the money for that.”

Things get silent for a moment, oppressively so and the Dad says, “Don’t worry about money Justin, she needs to be taken care of.”

Justin looks at them uncomfortably but nods. He excuses himself not long after to take a shower. Clay gets up to leave the table too but Dad stops him.

“Clay? Do you know the point of funerals?”

He freezes and for a solid half minute can’t say anything because they’re funerals, they exist to be funerals and yet the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that isn’t an explanation at all. 

Finally he settles on, “They’re some religious thing about burying the dead in sanctified ground so they can go to heaven.” The thought of Amber getting into heaven might be laughable if he could get over how angry he is at her and how much he hates her.

Dad smiles gently and says, “To some extent, I’m no theologian but that’s a very loose interpretation of it but missing a very crucial part. As much as it’s for the dead, funerals are also for the living. They are an essential part of people moving on and coming to terms with losing people close to them. I understand you don’t like Amber very much and she certainly hasn’t given you much a reason to but remember that this is for Justin too.”

The words cool his anger quickly and much as he doesn’t like it, he has to admit that what Dad is saying makes a lot of sense. This isn’t for Amber as much as for Justin, who’s going to come for her? Probably no one besides maybe an ex or something unpleasant like that, he can’t picture her having many friends or even acquaintances with a positive enough view of her to bother showing up.

He thinks what he’s thinking is written all over his face because Dad doesn’t drive the point home anymore, he just nudges,“I’m not asking you to cry over her, just be sensitive to Justin, okay?”

He nods and that earns him a proud smile. He gives an awkward grin back but then heads upstairs because Justin doesn't usually take long showers and he doesn't want to leave him alone… the other boy was way too calm about receiving the news and he has a bad feeling about what comes next.

It turns out he could have spent more time downstairs because Justin’s in the bathroom for a while and Clay really shouldn’t be surprised because it’s the perfect chance to be alone for a while and Clay wonders if that’s partly the point.

When Justin does come out Clay’s sort of terrified that he’s so...normal. Since he’s just out of a shower the redness of his face can easily be written off as being from that and there aren’t obvious tear tracks on his face. He takes a seat on the couch for a moment but by some unspoken agreement they end up playing games.

It’s about an hour before they speak and then it’s him who breaks the silence just because he really doesn't understand and he knows it probably isn’t the right, or smart, thing to do but he’s just so confused.

“I thought you would be-angry?”

Justin doesn’t answer for a moment but then says, “Maybe I am or maybe I will be but honestly I think I’m just..disappointed I guess. It’s hard when all your life you’ve wanted something other than what you expected so bad it hurts- and in the end it happens exactly like everyone’s always said.”

His mouth is dry and he realizes he’s opened a can of worms and has no way of putting the lid back on. 

“Actually...if it is an OD it isn’t all bad. Not the prettiest way to go out but better than some of the other options. I always-I was afraid she might end up another Jane Doe or something.”

Clay isn’t sure he understands the implications right and knows he doesn’t want to if he’s even half close. The thought alone makes him sick, that Amber’s so bad she made Justin have to worry about these kinds of things and his anger at her flares up again but he tried to quash it and remember what Dad said.

“And I guess I always hoped she would turn around, give up all the bad shit for me and we could be happy but that’s-never going to happen.”

Clay can’t say he’s surprised Justin’s crying a little. Actually if anything he’s surprised it took so long.

“I shouldn’t have though. I knew she never wanted me to begin with I don’t know why she even kept me but I should have known she would never give up all that shit for me. I just-It’s stupid but I always wanted that fairy tail ending but that can’t happen now can it? She’s-she’s dead, and she left me behind.”

He doesn’t know what to say because there isn’t anything that makes this any kind of okay. Even in death, Amber could still hurt Justin and Clay’s still helpless to do anything about it.

Then Justin laughs, or tries to. Clay isn’t sure what it actually counts as because it’s more pain than anything else.

“I sound like a girl.”

The words hurt to hear because that’s not what Justin should be worrying about now or ever and Clay has a good guess of where this idea came from and he doesn’t like it.

“No, you sound like a person who just lost their mother.” He says it harsher than he wants, maybe more determined but it came out rough. Thankfully Justin doesn’t flinch away but he does shake his head in disagreement.

The conversation lapses after that and...nothing feels okay. In fact it all feels wrong in so many ways because Justin is back to acting normal and Clay doesn't know what to do because he shouldn’t be acting like nothing’s wrong when something obviously is but he has no idea what to do about Justin pretending everything is fine.

It’s worse come bed time, he assumed-well he thought Justin would want someone close and Clay was going to oblige that but instead he settles onto the couch and pretends to sleep. Clay knows because as soon as Justin thinks he’s asleep, he slips off. Clay waits five minutes and then goes to the kitchen unsurprised to find Justin there.

They don’t talk for a bit, Clay gets his own bowl of cereal and sits with the younger boy. After he nurses that bowl for over twenty minutes, Justin finally asks why he’s here and somehow “I’m worried about you” comes out as, “Someone needs to make sure we have food for breakfast tomorrow”.

It’s callous and he’s not sure why it’s so hard to say what he means but Justin either doesn’t notice or doesn’t take offense.

When they wind up back in the room, thankfully without Justin needing a trip to the bathroom, he lays down and wonders...Justin likes physical contact, it isn’t a secret and it isn’t like they haven’t shared a bed before it’s just-the other time they were cold and yeah there was another reason besides that but he has an excuse, Now he doesn’t, if he asks Justin if he wants to share a bed, it’ll be purely an emotional thing. 

He thinks he should anyway because if there was ever a night Justin deserved every comfort Clay could offer it’s tonight and yet, despite coming to this conclusion pretty quickly he still agonizes over it. How to ask it, the tone, specific words, and it takes him forever to even work up the courage. 

“Justin?” 

He starts with a whisper into the dark knowing the other boy is still awake but selfishly hoping maybe he won’t answer. 

He gets a hum and with a heavy heart asks, “Would you-I mean given everything that’s happened-do you want to sleep here tonight?” 

A moment goes by and he doesn’t breath, growing more and more anxious that he shouldn’t have even offered until after what seems like an eternity, and in reality is less than a second, he gets a reply. 

“Nah Clay, I-I think I’m good.” 

There’s no way Justin can be good but before he can call bullshit, Justin gives an explanation that’s kind of hard to argue with. “It’s just-not real yet. I’m sort of just numb right now.” 

Clay can sympathies because it isn’t even his mom and he is too. He lets it drop and they say goodnight and go quiet but neither really sleeps, at least he doesn't think so. He dozes fitfully all night and thinks Justin does the same. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a new chapter! Sorry I didn't go up last night I needed another proof reading but was really distracted and couldn't get through it. This was also an importance chapter so I felt it deserved the second (more like 5th) read though right before posting. I struggled with what to do with Amber for a long time and for a number of reasons. Killing her means I can't use her again and her being around could have been interesting or difficult so I feel like on one hand I took a more limiting and easy way out but on the other hand, I felt Amber's decisions should catch up with her eventually.
> 
> Next chapter will be Friday or Saturday and is mostly just fluff but gives some more details.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments!


	9. 4 ½

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making arrangements is complicated when you don't like the person, at least Matt can take comfort in knowing the boys aren't alone.

When Matt pulls into the driveway, the house is totally dark. He glances at Lainie who sort of shrugs. They’ve spent the whole day making arrangements for Amber-Justin didn’t come with them, didn’t seem to be able to. Matt couldn’t blame him and when they saw Amber...he was glad Justin wasn’t there. She looked awful and he knows they made the right decision now. They told him she died of an overdose which is true according to the toxicology reports and autopsy. The didn’t tell him that there were signs consistent with phyical violence and possibly sexual assault. All in all, the woman was a mess when she died and had they known the extent they might not have even offered to have Justin join them. A cynical part of him wonders if she always looked that way, thin and defeated, a shell of a person in death as much as she was in life. A softer part wonders if she did what it was like for Justin to grow up with her. 

Those thoughts make it harder to do the right thing and by the end of the day it’s outright exhausting. It’s hard not just telling them to donate the body to science so that at least in death Amber could help someone, God knows she never seemed to have done so in life. 

Some decisions are easy, a closed casket wake is the only option and Lainie decides on cremation. They decide to have the urn buried after the wake in the small cemetery in town. The whole thing was much cheaper than a full funeral but gave Amber a place to spend eternity, gave Justin a place to visit if he needed to. There are about a hundred other little decisions to make and the whole process took up the entire day. 

The worst part, and their biggest fear, is that no one will come, that it would be them, the boys, and the people at the funeral home. It terrifies them actually because Justin, well, they had no idea how he might react if no one comes. It also angers them to think that after wasting all of today here doing this, it could all be for nothing. The extra insult comes because today was a day they wanted nothing more than to be home with Justin and Clay but couldn’t be. They had settled on a poor compromise which involved calling Tony and effectively asking him to babysit for them. It’s not that they didn’t trust Clay to look after Justin it was more that...well they were worried about both of them plain and simple. 

Now though they walk up the steps to the dark house, it’s late, almost ten since after they finished they went out to eat because they needed a chance to decompress and be calm before seeing the boys but that added more time than expected. He feels guilty for being gone all day, like he’s no better than the woman they’re burying. He’s sure Lainie feels the same but she’s much better at rationalizing this than he is. 

He unlocks the door and steps in followed by Lainie. They hear muted sounds from the living room and poke their heads in. 

It’s a strange sight, the room is dark and Tony is sitting on the couch watching _Winnie the Pooh_ , or maybe was watching it, now his eyes meet theirs. The coffee table is halfway between a disaster and normal with piles of plates and cups and snack wrappers and the like all somewhat contained to half of it, ready to be picked up and brought to the kitchen in a trip or two. It’s been pushed to a weird spot too, far from its usual place. 

The strangest part though is that the love seat is no longer the love seat, the pullout bed is opened, something that he hasn’t seen in years but he can remember stormy summer days when Clay was little. They would close the blinds and shades, make popcorn or open tubs of icecream, open up the chair into a bed and put on movies to watch for hours. 

It seems Clay remembers too because he’s on the couch, head poking up over the covers and he’s practically hanging off the mattress, body arched to accommodate the thing leaving him so little room, a lump next to him. Matt assumes it has to be Justin because of the messy brown curls that cover the pillow but he can’t really see a face or anything other than the hair. There’s another person though, a face he sort of recognizes vaguely, an Asain boy who, like Clay, is curled around the lump protectively, arm tossed over, neck bent down so that between him and Clay, probably Justin is totally surrounded. 

“Tony?” Lainie sounds tired and like she just wants an answer, he can agree on that.

“Mr. and Mrs. Jensen.” The greeting is polite but not especially helpful. “This is Zach, he and Justin are good friends I thought another familiar face would help.”

“Did it?” It’s the only thing that matters at this point.

“I think so. They managed to get him to eat and he fell asleep about two hours ago, these two not long ago. Zach already called his dad and let him know he’d be staying over.”

He wonders if he should be upset Tony arranged a sleepover in their house without telling them but he decides pretty quickly he shouldn’t be since the boy came to effectively babysit his boys.

“Your parents know too?”

For just a second a look of surprise crosses his face but he manages to cover it quickly. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense after all you’ve done it wouldn’t be imposing at all.”

“We insist.”

Once Lainie says that he seems to waver and then nods. “Thank you, I’ll let my dad know.”

“How was he today?”

“Quiet. He didn’t say much. I think he liked having people around though. He didn’t mind that Clay and Zach sort of passed him back and forth like a doll.”

Lainie raises an eyebrow and Tony shugs in reply. “Justin started it, when we put the TV on he tried to glue himself to Clay. They stayed like that for about an hour until Zach came and at that point Clay needed to move so Zach scooped Justin up and they shared the recliner.”

He and Lainie both look at each other because sharing the recliner was easy enough when Clay was little; two teenage boys on it now seems more like it would break the chair but it’s still in tact so alright.

“After that they sort of continued the arrangement until after Justin started to get tired. That’s when Clay pulled this out and they all squeezed on.”

From the tone of his voice Tony obviously finds this amusing but won’t let it show too much. Matt has to commend his attempt at professionalism.

There isn’t much else to say after that, the boys are asleep and plus one in number but the day apparently went as well as could be expected. Tony recounts what both of the boys ate and it’s more than they expected, he also adds on a few more tidbits of information, what movies they watched and what games they played. Apparently Justin didn’t cry at all. He also adds that as Justin was falling asleep he asked where they were. For a moment, Matt feels guilty, imagining that Justin wanted them and they weren’t there for him. Tony hurridily tacks on that when Clay promised they’d be home in the morning Justin seemed to relax. It makes him feel a little better since its a promise he and Lainie will keep.

Not long after, he and Lainie are both up in bed.

“I was wrong about him.”

Lainie’s voice startles him.

“Oh?” He’s sleepy and not really looking for a long conversation.

“Tony, he’s a good friend to both of them, I’m glad he’s around.”

“Good I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of him.”

She hums but seems to be mostly asleep already. He isn’t far behind, the boys had an alright day and that’s the important part but theirs was draining and the coming ones will be more so. Still, as long as Justin has them and the three boys sleeping downstairs with him, Matt’s pretty confident this will all work out somehow, even if he can’t see how yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter and as I said this is pure fluff. Sorry for my inactivity, I've been pretty busy lately but I should get back to writing this story (this was a chapter I had prepared already) and reading other stories but this week kept me pretty busy from doing this.
> 
> Next chapter, to make up for this one being short, will be long 3k words I think so you'll have something to sink your teeth into.
> 
> Happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments!


	10. When One Door Closes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saying goodbye to someone forever should be an emotional thing and yet Amber’s funeral is somehow lacking in that department.

Amber Foley’s wake is a dismal affair. It’s not that Clay really expected anything else since it’s a wake but the level of how utterly miserable it is astounds him. They get there about an hour early, the four of them. The funeral home director greets them somberly and leads them into a small room viewing room. It’s closed casket. Set up around it are a few displays of flowers and Clay knows enough to know that besides the one his parent’s got, they’re complementary. He’s glad Justin doesn't know, he doesn’t need to hurt anymore. They go up; Justin first, alone, then him with Dad and Mom by herself. He thinks it’s so Justin doesn't feel he’s the only one to do it alone. 

When he kneels down in front of the casket, his mind is empty. He thinks he should pray but the thought of saying anything positive for or about Amber makes his stomach churn. He asks for Justin’s comfort even though he knows there’s none to be had.

After that the four of them just wait. His parents make a couple attempts at conversation but neither seem surprised or particularly upset when they go nowhere. Mom sits next to Justin, Dad with him. He tries not to watch Justin because he knows the other boy won’t appreciate it but can’t help it, he’s worried and Justin has looked so...stoic. And yet that isn’t true, stoic would imply he felt nothing, more accurately he was just repressing what he’s feeling. Clay isn’t sure if it’s pride or something else that makes him keep it in but it hurts him that Justin’s suffering.

He knows Justin’s hurting too because despite his shunning of all physical affection since he found out, besides that one day with Zach and Tony around, he can tell the other boy wants it. At least he thinks so, it seems wrong to imagine that Justin wouldn’t since he always sought it out in the past.

His thoughts are interrupted by mourner and he wonders if it makes him a bad person that he’s surprised people come. They aren’t even people he recognizes and he doesn't think Justin does either but they greet him and know who he is. The best he can put together are that they’re coworkers...were coworkers, of Amber’s. They don’t say much and leave when they realize there isn’t going to be food. He risks a glance at Justin but his face is still masked and maybe that’s for the best. Clay would flip out if-coming to a wake for food is the lowest of the low.

Thankfully Zach is next with the rest of his family but the trade off is a long wait in between. Clay recognizes from them games and Zach is a mess but containing it, the little girl with him, usually so alive and vibrant at the games, looks like she’s already cried enough for all of them, red eyes, tear tracks down her face, she looks like maybe the most miserable person he’s ever seen. She walks past the casket until the woman, he assumes Zach’s mother calls her back and scolds her in Mandarin. Mother and daughter go first and as soon as she can the girl, May he remembers belatedly, crashes into Justin with the force of a semi truck. She cries. Her mother’s scolding this time goes unheeded.

It gets the first reaction from Justin all day, he pulls her arms off of him and drops to his knees to be more her height and hugs her as tightly as she hugs him back talking to her quietly. He doesn't know what they say but that’s probably for the best. When they pull apart Mrs. Dempsey offers her condolences. Clay thinks she sounds...too perfect. They’re offered with the right amount of sympathy balanced with tact and all from a stiff upper lip. Justin thanks her quietly.

He gets hugs from both father and son and Clay’s thankful they’re here even if they don’t get the same reaction because they came for Justin and that makes Clay-well happy seems wrong given the setting so something else but it’s good they came. It isn’t a long stay though, apparently they have obligations elsewhere and have to go, leaving the four of them alone with the funeral house employees again. 

The time with no mourners drags on and Clay can’t help but resent Amber even more because it feels like no cares enough about her to come for Justin. If it bothers the other boy he gives no indication. Clay’s almost convinced no else will come, the part of him Dad calls pessimistic seems stronger today whispering that this is it, the Dempseys and the horrible coworkers are the best they’re going to get, the last they’re going to get too.

He feels a weight forming in his chest like a cinder block because that can’t be it. A woman is dead, she’s never coming back and Clay doesn’t pity her in the least but the fact that it seems no one else is coming, not for Justin. It’s wrong and the weight turns partly to resentment as he thinks of all the people who should be here but aren’t.

All the animosity evaporates, well most of it anyway, and he almost cries from relief when he sees the door open without even knowing who it is. His gratitude gets even greater when he learns this mystery person is actually a group. Tony comes in leading his whole family and even though he and Mom have been on better terms lately, he’s glad to see she isn’t upset by the whole family, in fact she looks slightly relieved too. They make their way up in an orderly fashion and the brothers go first, well the three of them that aren’t Tony at least. They kneel in front of the coffin and then go and shake Justin’s hand offering condolences. He thanks them and they don’t seem at all offended by the fact that his heart isn’t in it.

Mr. Padilla and Graciella come next she repeats her father’s expression of grief but unlike May, doesn’t get any emotional reaction out of Justin. Mr. Padilla shakes his hand and talks in a low voice that earns a ghost of a smile from Justin. Tony goes last with his mom, the plump woman pulls Justin into a hug while Tony gives him a questioning look. Clay kind of shrugs, he doesn't know how Justin is doing and he doesn’t like it.

Tony turns his attention to Justin and offers. “I’m sorry Justin, if you need anything you know where to find me.” They hug too and Clay’s both surprised and pleased when the Padillas take seats in the small room, carrying on conversations with each other in low voices. The room seems less dismal now even if they start what turns into another long wait.

The next people to come in do so after an hour has passed since the official start of the wake and that means it’s a third over. It’s Bryce, leading his posey. Clay contains his disgust as the boy organizes the various players and sends them up in pairs. At least to their credit the don’t make a mess. They shake hands with Justin, most ignore him and his parents but that’s fine, he doesn't have much to say to them anyway. Luke looks red eyed and also hugs Justin, Clay doesn’t know him very well but he seems...nice enough. Justin’s obviously surprised. He wonders how much effort it takes his parents not to comment on the heavy smell of weed and cheap alcohol that hang around some of them. 

Bryce is last, not that Clay expected different. He locks eyes with Justin. 

“I’m sorry, this is-fucked up.” He makes a vague hand motion around to indicate everything. It’s maybe the most truthful thing he’s ever said but clearly it doesn’t help Justin much. 

He knows it’s unfair of him to hold it against Bryce that he can’t fix everything because none of them can, not fair at all but mostly he doesn’t care. Bryce is Justin’s best friend even if Clay has never seen any evidence of this so he should be able to come up with something better than that.

Justin sort of shrugs and replies, “Isn’t life fucked up?” He sort of ducks his head a little to glance at Mom and Dad and Clay realizes he’s never cursed in front of them before. They don’t comment and Clay assumes burying your mother is a better excuse for a pass than anything else where swearing is concerned. 

Bryce offers a crooked grin and says, “Guess it is Justy but you’ll get through this.” He claps a hand on Justin’s shoulder and Clay pretends he doesn’t notice how many emotions play across the younger boy’s face. He can’t keep track of them anyway.

The team stays for a while, split into different groups. They’re louder than the Padillas who are still there and for a while Clay is fine with them being there because they’re here for Justin. 

At least he thought they are. A group of them keep passing a water bottle back and forth and get progressively louder as they do. Some of their teammates shush them but it doesn’t really work. He’s shocked by their crassness. It takes him a bit but he puts together that the bottle has something stronger than water in it and it makes him angry as hell. He’s almost ready to do something when they finally get loud enough for them to hear and he wishes they had never come when he does.

“At least now Justy’ll be able to catch up. She can’t set anymore records dead.”

“Shame she didn’t do it earlier, now I can stop hearing about who’s fucking her twice a week.”

He risks a look at Justin’s face and it’s mortified and horrified. Bryce is scolding them, he sounds disgusted but not angry or outraged and Clay can’t hear the words but he could just as easily imagine that Bryce is telling them to chew with their mouths closed as to not say stuff like that about Justin. The employees and Mom are both getting ready to do something when the Padillas step in. Tony asks them to leave, behind him are all three of his brothers and his Dad. Their backs are to Clay but it isn’t too hard to imagine they don’t look very happy. He’s only mildly surprised when the team leaves. Bryce comes up to apologize for them but even though he sounds earnest it’s too little too late, at least in his opinion.

Thankfully as they’re going out, the person coming in is probably the person best suited to make this better...of such a thing is possible. Jess comes in with her mom looking stunning even in a black dress. Clay is happy to see her, more than that, he’s happier to see her than he’s ever been before because next to him Justin relaxes just a little just seeing her. 

She and her mother walk up to the casket and kneel before approaching him. Her mom goes first, offers him condolences politely and then leaves to take a seat. Jess smiles at him. It’s awkward but still pretty.

“I’m sorry Justin I can’t-I can’t imagine what this must be like for you.”

He smiles back somehow, it isn’t awkward, just sad and tired, he thinks maybe he’s found a smile he hates more than the Foley one but for entirely different reasons. “It’s okay, I’ll-be fine.”

It isn’t okay but Justin would say that if he got hit by a bus. Jess sees through it too and asks, “Would it be okay if I hugged you?”

He’s sort of surprised she asks since several other people have already done it but he guesses Tony, Zach, and May are a bit different, they don’t need to.

“I’d-like that.”

So Jess does and his parents tug him away. He’s a little annoyed at them but he guesses Justin is in good hands. He’s crying now but Jess seems to have it handled well enough. He’s a little jealous that she gets to do this but he’s sort of glad Justin is crying at all. They take seats with the Padillas and Mrs. Davis who are the only ones there besides the staff. He wants to watch, in case Justin needs him but a look from Mom tells him not to. Tony pulls him into a meaningless conversation for a while and it surprises him how distracted he gets because he doesn’t notice Justin’s left the room until Jess sits down next to them.

“Bathroom.” She explains before he even asks and then takes a seat next to him. She looks at him, eyes misty. “How is he?” She looks from him to Tony and then back. He can’t imagine she finds much she likes because her eyes get wet.

Tony passes her a handkerchief and she wipes her eyes. She thanks him quietly and then turns her attention to Clay. “You and your parents are going to keep looking after him right?” 

He nods. It’s probably not that simple but he’ll be damned if he lets anyone take Justin away from them.

“That’s-that’s good.” She looks shaken and he can’t blame her because he’s pretty sure they all are.

When Justin comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later Clay and his parents join him back up with the casket while Jess stays with Tony, talking to him deeply about something while throwing Justin smiles. Her presence is more than enough to put him at ease and the smiles create an odd dichotomy between him trying to be stoic about all of this but also clearly madly in love with Jess.

Others start to come in not long after, a lot of the Liberty staff, well maybe not a lot but all of Justin’s teachers besides Mrs. Burns, as well as both Mrs. Tymes and Mrs. Antilly. Mr. Bolan shows up too and even though Clay’s opinion of the man has dropped he at least acts professional as he offers his condolences. For while he’s surprised, and disappointed Mr. Patrick doesn’t come but the man shows up with the rest of the basketball team in tow. They’re all much better behaved than the jocks who came with Bryce, and at least one seems hurt for Justin’s sake and offers to help anyway he can.

They hit another low point when Courtney comes but given the other lows this one is much less egregious. She’s fake and annoying but thankfully doesn’t stay too long. 

Hannah comes too, she slips in at some point alone and Clay had asked her to come so isn’t surprised to see her but Justin is. She offers condolences and he thanks her and they’re basically out of things to say after that so she takes a seat. He realizes he might have miscalculated because she and Jess apparently aren’t on speaking terms still but only know each other and Tony who sends him a somewhat dark look, obviously not happy about literally being between them.

Later, when the wake ends and they drive to the cemetery to bury the urn, just them and Tony who brings Jess. After that everyone goes their separate ways and it sort of astounds him when they get through the door back at home that Dad asks what they want for dinner. Someone is dead, gone forever and now in the ground and never coming back, that was the ultimate goodbye and suddenly dinner is a priority? He and Justin head upstairs but the boy spends a lot of time looking at his phone with an ever changing mixture of emotions. 

It isn’t until that night when they’re laying down to go to sleep that Justin says, “I didn’t think so many people would come. I thought it would just be us and maybe Bryce and Zach.”

His mouth is dry cause he feared the same thing. He decides not to say anything, see if silence will make Justin say any more.

“I never imagined that so many people would come and-most of them didn’t even know Mom. Most of them came for me.”

“You’re important to a lot of us.”

He looks over and sees Justin is sitting up and that smile that had crept over his face now breaks into a full, toothy grin. It isn’t the megawatt Foley smile, for which Clay’s thankful, it’s an awkward, pleased, embarrassed, and thoroughly touched expression. They talk a little more about nothing but Justin nods off mid conversation.

Clay thinks that maybe it wasn’t such a bad day after all. He would never say it out loud but now that Amber is gone, Justin might be able to stay with them permanently. It’s what he’s wanted for a while now but has never seemed possible. It’s almost as if in saying goodbye to Amber, a new door is open that wasn’t before. He’s also pretty sure Justin’s been texting Jess the whole time and maybe if he’s feeling bolder he’ll try teasing Justin about it, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter and probably the longest chapter for a fic I've ever written. I had a lot I needed to cover in it cause hence the length and hopefully it satisfies. A lot of cameos in here from a lot of different characters! 
> 
> I've hit a bit of a drought in terms of writing so next week I may not post a chapter unfortunately. Hopefully I'll have something but I'm not sure.
> 
> Happy reading and hope you enjoy, let me know what you think in the comments below!


	11. 5 ½

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin and Jess have a serious conversation.

Tony drops them off at a diner’s ten minutes after school lets out. The older boy reminds him again to be fast before bidding him and Jess goodbye and unlocking the car for them to go in, the privacy is appreciated as much as Tony being on hand for a quick get away. He isn’t supposed to be here, well probably not. The emergency custody order is still in affect and he’s probably violating it but the risk is worth it, at least he thinks so. This isn’t a conversation he can put off and today is his best chance with all the Jensen’s out of the house for a bit, making this secret trip possible. 

He and Jess take seats across from each other in a booth. He can’t help but see the irony. This is what he’s wanted all year, since he saw her for the first time. He’s wanted it so bad it ate him up to see Jess with someone else, even if the other guy had a reputation for being nice enough and wasn’t someone Justin hated...at first. Jess had broken up with him because he hadn’t liked that she spent time with Justin, apparently he was a real creep. Now that guy is gone and he’s here with Jess but can’t even enjoy it. It’s awkward and he doesn’t know what to say for the first time ever. He always knows how to talk to Jess, but he doesn’t now.

They eat but if Jess can’t make him feel good, there’s no way food will.

Finally she decides to stop letting them avoid the conversation they’re here to have.

“Justin I love you.”

He looks away.

And it kills him.

He’s dreamed about hearing her say those words and yet, right now they only bring pain.

“Jess-”

“No, I want this Justin, more than anything in the world.”

“I do too but I don’t-” He doesn’t want to hurt her, or himself but mostly her. He’d never forgive himself for that. Jess-Jess deserves better, the best actually and that isn’t him, can never be him. 

“Don’t what? Come on Justin, you like me and I like you isn’t that enough?”

“I don’t want to hurt you and the Jensens-” he breaks off cause he hasn’t admitted this out loud yet, not to himself or anyone else but he has no idea what comes next. He wants to stay but the emergency custody will run out and it can’t be renewed this time. There are three weeks left of it and then-

“The Jensens what?”

“What if they can’t keep me?” It’s a fear but not even his greatest. They may not be able to, the custody order was because of his situation which is now over and they can’t renew it which means he won’t be able to keep staying with him and that makes him numb.

He’s sure Lainie can fight it, she’s a genius and can probably manage something but that only brings up a darker fear that terrifies him more than any boy friend his mom has ever brought back, more than any thinly veiled threat from Bryce about him crossing the line and almost as much as never seeing Mom again when she would leave for days or weeks at a time. What if they don’t want him. The thought leaves chilled to the bone and sweating, numb but terrified and acutely aware of just how much hurt he _can_ feel. 

He wouldn’t blame them either. It’s not like he’s theirs, as nice as that would be. He doesn’t give them anything, not really. He helps with house work and all that but he can admit that a lot of it is trying to give them reasons to keep him but even then he’s not sure he’s done enough to make them want to and he hasn’t exactly made life easy on them between getting in trouble at school and the money for the funeral and eating too much and adding to the grocery bill and needing new clothes cause he’s in a growth spurt, and always having to ask where things are and-

“Of course they will.”

He looks at her and her face is set, she’s already decided the Jensen’s will but how she’s so confident, he has no idea.

“How do you know? What if-what if I’m not here in a few days or a week?”

“It won’t happen but _if_ it does, isn’t that all the more reason to try? If you go and we never see each other again, I’ll never forgive myself for missing you. You’re the first guy I’ve ever met who I’ve ever thought I could spend the rest of my life with. You’re the one I want to take me on dates, whose shoulder I want to lean on during movies. I want to spend every second I can can steal with you, cut pointless classes and stay out past dark, watch the sunset with you over the water. I want to go to semi with you and should have gone to the winter dance with you. Please, don’t make us both wonder about what could have been if we tried.”

His mouth is dry but he manages to say in something below normal volume but not quite a whisper, “But what happens if we never see each other again?” He knows, or at least he thinks he knows it’ll be painful, like being half a person because the person he loves will be a far away dream.

She apparently knows exactly what he can’t say and doesn’t have the same problem.

“I would rather the pain of losing you a hundred times than never knowing once.”

He’s silent because he isn’t sure he agrees, the pain of being away from people-it’s hard. Always has been hard, when Mom would leave for days or weeks or Bryce would go away for the whole summer- and in those cases he’s known...or has been reasonably confident that he’ll see them again. This is nothing like that, he may get sent away and never come back.

She frowns slightly though and asks, “That isn’t it though is it? There’s something more isn’t there?”

He freezes because she’s right, there is more but how did she know?

“Is it-am I not good enough?” 

The sudden doubt that appears in her voice shocks him into looking up and he can see tears and anger in them.

“No! It’s not that, never that.”

“Then what?”

He hesitates for a moment and then says “Me.”

“You what?”

“Jess I’m-I’m messed up and now everyone knows it and I’m not-not good enough for you.”

He hates how his voice cracks and he sounds so-sad and miserable and broken which is exactly what he is and maybe it’s for the best so Jess doesn’t somehow think he’s more than that and convince herself-

“Bullshit.”

He looks up wide eyed at her.

“Jess-”

“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t care if you don’t think you’re good enough I love you and I think you’re more than perfect and I want this more than anything in the world.”

He’s not so sure, once they start-she’ll realize all the ugly little secrets and stuff but-but maybe even so.

“So do you love me?”

“Yes.”

This time he doesn’t think he leans forward and finds her lips right where he wanted them. The kiss leaves him tingling from head to toe. They do another and it’s just as amazing, and after a third she pulls away and asks, “Stay with me?”

“For forever.” He will too, as long as she wants and as long as he can, he won’t leave. 

Not literally of course because he does leave not long after, reluctantly but he’s sure he doesn’t want Tony coming in to collect him, that would be awkward. He slides into the car a minute later and is pleasantly surprised to learn that Tony is a gentleman and doesn’t ask questions, then again he does hand Justin a napkin to wipe the lipstick residue off so he probably doesn’t need to.

Still he feels somehow lighter than he’s felt in a while, like some great weight is gone. He doesn’t know where this will go but the future doesn’t seem as scary anymore, maybe. He knows for sure at least that as long as Jess’ll have him, he’ll stay, even if it’s under a lie cause she still thinks he’s something he isn’t and it’s wrong of him to take advantage like this but he can’t help it. Jess is all he’s wanted since he met her and someday she’ll realize he’s just a broken toy but until then-he’ll enjoy every second he can with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I managed it, decided to flip flop chapters so I'm still stuck on the hard one but I managed to finish this. I wanted to bring Jess in for a major roll if only for one chapter and wanted to start her and Justin going out. I drafted Jess's plea about 3 times trying to get the right emotion for it and it still doesn't live up to what I wanted but it's the best of the them so here it is.
> 
> Next week may be dicey too for getting a chapter since it has to be the hard one I've been putting off, I just can't get it to work right at all and I'm tempted to just skip it but it's sort of too important for that. I did go ahead and work on several other chapters that'll come later so the writers block might be gone.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy reading and I apologize for how inactive I've been reading stories, commenting on them and replying to comments here. That said I still love the thoughts you guys leave!


	12. Here To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jensens take care of some loose ends and Justin is along for the ride.

When Mom and Dad sit him down in the living room after school one day, he knows they have something big to say. Mom is sifting through papers and produces one before passing it to him and when he reads the top it says it says **APPROVED** in huge letters. He scans it quickly and finds the words foster family. He looks back at them while Mom starts talking.

“We went ahead and got approved without talking to you because we wanted to have the option on the table in case we needed to move fast. We weren’t sure we would need it but we thought we should be ready.”

“We didn’t want to go any farther than this without talking to you though. We want to foster Justin. We assumed you would be okay with that but before we went ahead and offered, we thought we should ask you.”

“Yes. I want to do this.” Did they really have to ask? Or maybe a better question, why couldn’t they be this considerate about asking if he wanted to host the family Labor Day barbecue or even if he wanted to have hot dogs or hamburgers for dinner one night.

A look passes between his parents and he huffs, annoyed with them trying to be stealthy and not succeeding. 

“This is a big decision Clay, not something you should accept without thinking about it your father and I-”

“Mom,” cutting her off is faster than letting her finish talking, “I want Justin to stay.”

“You’ve never had to share us before and we want to make sure you’re really okay with that.”

“I am, and besides what other option is there? Letting someone else take him? No way, he’s staying here.”

That seems to convince them, or maybe they expected that reply and are satisfied. “When are you going to ask him?”

“We were thinking tonight after dinner.”

Good, the sooner they make this official the better. Justin’s been in limbo for three days since after the funeral when Clay thinks he realized he could be sent away. He’s gone between pacing the house when it’s just them to wearing the stupidest smile Clay’s ever seen on his face...and that’s impressive. It’s practically manic and he’d be more worried except Zach and Jess both mentioned that it’s normal he’d be having mood swings considering his world has already been turned on its head once and it can happen again soon. It makes him feel a little guilty that it’s taken so long to finally give him an answer but he’s sure paperwork slowed everything down. At least they are now, he hopes that’s enough.

Later that night he tries to stop himself from pacing the room as he waits for Justin to come upstairs. He gives a thought to trying to get homework done but dismisses it right away. He glances at the new _Killer Robot_ edition but can’t see himself focusing even on something as simple as that and then flicks on the TV only to spend about ten minutes channel surfing before giving up and pacing, telling himself he’ll stop before Justin comes in.

He would have too, except Justin sort of appears in the room and it isn’t until he turns around at the wall that he sees the younger boy who’s leaning against the door looking at him oddly. He opens his mouth to say something but can’t seem to find the words he wants. Clay can sympathize because even though he has a million questions, he can’t ask any of them.

Finally Justin manages to say, “Your parents offered to foster me.” It’s cryptic. Usually Justin’s emotions are on display and Clay’s spent so much time with him that by now he’s pretty good at guessing the reason for them. To see him so-not expressive is a little concerning.

“I know, they asked me this afternoon while you were at practice.”

“And-and you’re really all okay with it?” He hears a little bit of that painful insecurity creeping in now and sees Justin picking at the sleeve of the sweater he’s wearing. 

“Of course we are.” There’s a lot more he wants to say but he’s still tongue tied. He wants to tell Justin that they’re already brothers. That there was no way he was letting him go somewhere else and that come hell or high water they’re stuck together. He wants to say that he’s hated waiting to hear about what’s going to happen as much and that he’s sorry he couldn’t be more comfort to Justin when the other boy needed him because he’s not really good at the whole talking it out thing as much as he wants to be cause he always second guesses what he’s saying and how Justin will receive it.

He can’t though and it frustrates him but Justin relaxes a little even though Clay doesn’t think he fully believes what he’s hearing.

“So what happens now? You-you choose us right?” 

Justin nods.

“So are you now like here to stay? They can’t come in and try to take you away?”

Justin frowns for a moment and then says, “Your parents are approved to foster but they still need to approve it for me personally? Your mom explained it but I didn’t understand all of it. I think there’s something about someone interviewing all of you and me and then inspecting the house and some other things and-”

He cuts off and Clay waits for a moment before prompting, “And”

Justin gives him an odd look. “They want to get a bed for me.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “That’s good, I like that couch but you’ve been sleeping on it for how long?”

“They’re thinking of giving me my own room.”

Oh. He-he doesn't know how he feels about that. He’s gotten so used to Justin being there that him leaving would be weird. They have a routine set up, a schedule, after dinner they come up to the room and do homework. Sometimes it’s actually them doing their own, other times it’s him helping Justin. They once traded English papers but it was sort of one sided cause Clay gave a lot of feedback while Justin circled some words and phrases and asked if he was trying to sound like an old man. 

Homework usually gave way to one video game or another. They had long since finished _Mario 64_ and worked their way through a few of the old titles with more success on some than others but it was always a good time.

Then Justin would take a shower and they’d go to bed...sometimes. They’d turn the lights off but sometimes they could spend hours talking. It wasn’t always a good thing, the next day he would be a zombie but all the same, he wouldn’t give up those talks for anything. Talking with Justin is somehow the easiest thing in the world. The other boy, for all of his airs, is sensitive and sweet, he gives great advice and may be the funniest person Clay’s ever met. More than one night Mom or Dad has come in and told them to go to bed already. 

If Justin moves out that all ends.

“What did you say?”

He blushes and replies, “I-I didn’t say anything I-didn’t know-I wasn’t sure how to say it.”

Clay frowns. “Well, we’ll just tell them tomorrow you want to stay in here-you do want to stay in here right?”

Justin nods and Clay breathes an internal sigh of relief at knowing Justin feels at somewhat the same way about these talks.

“Will that really work?”

Clay blinks, he hadn’t thought of it not working. Then he shakes it off. “The only room they could put you in would be Dad’s office and no one wants to move all of those books out. We’ll have to move some stuff in here around but you’ll stay.”

Justin grins just a little and that’s enough. Things have been weird because the assumption has always been Justin staying would be temporary. Now it’s permanent and maybe everything can start settling down and getting normal. It’s something to look forward to and he’s going to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is, better late than never I guess. This was probably the hardest chapter to write ever but it's done. I had one idea for it, realized that wasn't going to work after agonizing through four pages of work, then shifted to another and still fought for every paragraph. I'm happy it's done though and I'm not looking back cause that was exhausting lol. I owe de_la_cruz87 a special thanks for helping me through and proof reading the whole thing cause I couldn't stand to look at it enough to do that!
> 
> As for what's next, I've got two chapters in written so it's a matter of one of them. We're nearing the end of this fic for those wondering. I can't say exactly how many chapters are left, but less than ten most likely, most of which will be fluff or day to day life of the Jensens and Justin getting used to each other with a few involving classmates for various odds and ends. Also I'll be going back to my usual Friday or Saturday posting time next week so look out for an update then!
> 
> Thank you for your patience in waiting for the update and I hope you like the chapter, let me know what you think in the comments below and happy reading!


	13. Handbook for the Care of Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It occurs to Clay at some point that he doesn’t have to muddle through Justin’s most baffling quirks on his own because he knows probably the one person who knows Justin enough to explain them (and that he trusts to do so). After that life gets a little easier.

The first time Clay does it, it's mostly out of frustration. Tony isn’t around to bitch to but Zach is. Justin’s been weird about washing his varsity jacket but he wears it almost every day and even though he practically treats it like it’s gold, there’s what he thinks is a ketchup stain on it that for the past two weeks has driven him crazy. He isn’t expecting the boy to actually give him useful insight but he does. 

“The jacket means a lot to him, he’s super protective of it.”

“It’s not like my mom is going to take it, just get rid of the stain.”

“You know that, and I know that but Justin’s still weird about these kinds of things.”

“Why? It’s just a jacket.” He can’t help but feel a little annoyed at Zach, he’s supposed to just agree with it and move on.

The boy looks away and mumbles, “It’s a gift, and he doesn’t get a lot of those.”

“It’s a jacket that needs to be washed.” 

Wait.

“How do you know it’s a gift?”

“Cause I gave it to him.”

“Oh.”

Zach on a roll now though apparently over his initial awkwardness, “I felt so bad giving it to him like it was charity, but he thought it was the greatest thing ever. You should have seen him in it then too, remember how small he was freshman year? He was practically swimming but he loved it anyway. I think it was the warmest thing he owned too, for a while at least. He wore it all last winter even when he really should have worn something warmer and I wouldn’t be surprised if-”

“If?”

Zach looks away again and mumbles, “Some nights I think he would umm, sleep outside. I don’t-I can’t say for sure it’s not like I’ve ever seen it or he’s ever said something but for a while I thought I saw dirt and grass stains on it so…” 

Zach trails off apparently not sure what to say next but Clay gets the idea and he’s speechless for a moment before sighing. “I guess I’m just going to have to put up with it aren’t I?”

Zach nods and he sighs, well it is one of Justin’s more benign oddities, he’ll just try really hard to look the other way.

\-------------------------

“He needs to not look so happy whenever he gets a compliment.”

Zach offers a tight smile. “Be careful, he hates being pitied.”

He opens his mouth to deny it but finds he can’t. Zach’s giving him a knowing look, sad but offers, “I find it easier to give a lot so that when someone else does the look doesn’t bother me as much.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“What you're thinking, Justin’ll be happy with any positive thought. He tells me you play a lot of video games, that’s a good place to start, when he does his homework right, anything. The more you see the look the easier it is to deal with.”

Well, it wasn’t what he was expecting to hear but he’ll give it a try, can’t get worse than having to look at that puppy dog like happiness everyone tells him something remotely nice.

\-------------------------

“I swear he’s like a black hole! And he’s so damn happy about it! Like my dad made quiche again and it’s disgusting like it is all the time but Justin inhaled it like it was the best thing ever and then told my dad how great it was!”

Zach resembles a deer in headlights as he nearly drops the book he’s holding. Clay feels a little bad for showing up behind him and screaming but not really, actually it was kind of funny.

Then the other boy finally seems to catch up and gives a noncommittal shrug, “Justin likes food and isn't very particular about what kind of food, be happy picky eaters are annoying.”

“He’s such a suck up! Dad knows he can’t make quiche but Justin’s going to convince him he can.”

“You’re really angry about this.”

“You would be too. It isn’t just one comment he says it like nine times a meal. And Dad keeps giving me these looks like ‘why can’t you say nice things about my cooking’, it’s super annoying!”

“Listen, Justin can eat more than the whole basketball team put together but I think the longer he’s with you the less he’ll eat and maybe the less he’ll annoy you by telling your dad how great it is at cooking.”

“Why?” 

A shrug, “He’ll feel safe about it.”

“About what?”

“Three meals a day, enough money to maintain a steady diet, he won’t feel the need to eat everything in sight to prepare in case there isn’t anything later.”

He blushes a little. Maybe he has been too annoyed about it given what caused the habit.

Zach stands up to leave but as he does he adds in, “I’ve found his eating habits helpful for telling his mood, it’s basically a manual to how he’s feeling. If he’s sick, he doesn’t eat. If he’s content, he eats a lot; if he’s stressed, he eats even more. It isn’t perfect but it helps.” He offers a little shrug. “Try paying attention, might help you out some time.”

\------------------------

“How do I get him to relax?”

“Don’t be so tense yourself.”

This time Zach doesn’t look up from the homework he’s furiously copying.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means that Justin isn’t like us and can read the mood of a room and it sets his. He can tell when you’re wound up and it’ll stress him out.”

“What if I’m not stressed out?”

“Think about all the time you guys spend together and try to remember your mood. Justin will almost always match it. When I’m upset, he is too, when I’m stressed, so is he, when I’m happy, he’s happy. It doesn’t always work but most of the time it will.”

“It can’t be that easy.”

“When there’s more than one person it isn’t but trust me, when it’s only him and someone else it usually is.”

The bell rings and he has to go, what a non-answer. He’ll try it though, if only to prove it isn’t that simple.

\------------------------

“Why does Justin put up with Bryce.”

Zach lowers the book in front of his face looking startled but Clay can’t tell if it’s cause of what he said or cause he startled Zach out of some kind deep thought. It doesn’t really matter though he needs answers and he needs them now and if Zach doesn’t have them, he’ll find someone who does.

“What do you mean by put up with him?”

He gives the taller boy a dark look. “I mean Bryce is the worst. He’s an ass who thinks he’s the greatest thing to happen to mankind ever and he isn’t but Justin still hangs out with him.”

Zach sighs heavily but before he can say anything, Clay cuts him off. “Don’t defend him either I know you don’t like him.”

“I don't and I wasn’t going to defend him for his own sake but try to understand it from Justin’s point of view.”

“I don’t see any view where he’s worth tolerating.” He might be bordering on yelling but so what? Bryce is an ass and he isn’t wrong to be this angry.

“Bryce and Justin have been friends since Justin was in the third grade. Up until then Justin probably didn’t have many friends, least that’s the impression I get. He never talks about the time before he met Bryce, you’ve noticed that right?”

It’s true, Justin tells a lot of stories, mostly to amuse people but Clay can’t remember a time he’s heard one that was before Justin knew Bryce and given how many he’s heard that does mean something.

“I think Bryce helped Justin when no one else would and Justin will never forget that. Bryce could do just about anything he wanted to Justin and be forgiven for it because Justin can’t hold a grudge against most people but never against Bryce. So I don’t like him but his friendship with Justin isn’t going anywhere anytime soon so and if my choices are Bryce or no Justin, I’ll put up with him.”

Clay makes a face and Zach gives a weak chuckle, “I don’t want to hear you complain, at least you don’t have to deal with him as often as I do!”

“You choose that.”

He gets a sort of shrug and then Zach stands up to leave. “Just remember what I said and don’t fight Justin too hard on this. I made that mistake for a while and he isn’t planning on getting rid of Bryce anytime soon and the sooner you learn to deal with him the better.”

Clay can’t help but stick his tongue out at the other boy’s retreating body. Learn to deal with Bryce Walker? That’s like learning to deal with Napoleon, not happening today, tomorrow or any day.

\--------------------------------

He goes back and forth on it for almost two days before he finally sucks it up and tracks down Zach. Part of him is convinced it’s an exercise in futility because how is Zach supposed to magically know the answers to what he’s going to ask? He does it anyway because if there’s a chance the other boy does, he has to take it and to be fair it isn’t so much finding the other boy as much as going to the library during lunch when Zach has study hall. After that he’s able to slide into a seat across from him. One of the other meatheads is in this period, Clay can’t really be bothered to remember his name at the moment. Zach raises an eyebrow and Clay looks pointedly at the other guy. 

To his credit this dude seems to get the messages and claps Zach on the shoulder and mumbles something about needing a computer for some assignment before leaving.

“What’s up?”

“How do I get Justin to sleep?”

Somehow in his head that sounded less..direct, maybe less weird too but Zach decides to leave that alone and asks “What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s going on like, three nights of no sleep and he has a big test tomorrow that he needs to pass.”

“Three nights? And how do you know he hasn’t been sleeping?”

“We share a room and have you seen him?” Since yesterday Justin’s been pale with dark circles under his eyes. Clay isn’t sure if it’s his imagination or not but he thinks the other boy is moving slower too but that could be his imagination. Mom and Dad have both asked him about it but in typical Justin fashion they’ve gotten an ‘I’m fine’ and not much else.

From the grimace on Zach’s face he has seen Justin lately but rather than just answer the question he still has more to ask. “How have the nights been going? Has Justin been going to bed late and not sleeping enough, falling asleep but waking up in the middle of the night?”

“Both. Can you just answer already.”

Zach holds his hands up and replies, “Has he been having nightmares?”

Clay’s eyes go big cause even though Zach asked quietly, the shock is huge and it makes him recoil. 

And then he thinks about it. He’s kind of a heavy sleeper so he isn’t really sure but that might explain a bit, mostly Justin’s obvious reluctance to sleep. He’s been trying to go to bed as late as he can. Friday he went to a party and stayed out late enough to get in trouble with Mom and Dad and the night after he tried to keep both of them up with video games for hours and last night Clay woke up and needed to go to the bathroom at four and found Justin up even though the other boy pretended to be asleep.

“Maybe?”

Zach goes quiet and Clay huffs in frustration.

“Well? What do I do?”

The boy in front of him is an interesting shade of pink and the look on his face almost makes Clay wonder if he should have asked in the first place. “Well-he likes to share a bed with someone.”

“Wh-what?” He almost reaches to try to clear his ears, sure he misheard.

“Yea its um I think he likes the closeness it makes him feel safe. When-when he would stay over at my house he tended to just sleep in my bed. Saved me the trouble of the air mattress and hiding it when he wasn’t exactly supposed to be there.” 

Clay thinks his mouth might be hanging open because is that really it? It can’t be, that would be too-too weird. Sure he’s done it already twice but one night they had the excuse of it being cold and the other was the day after Justin learned his mom died.

“Listen just-just give it a shot. He won’t be weird about it and it won’t leave your house but it will get him to sleep.”

He sighs, “Yea, yea fine I’ll give it a shot.” He isn’t doesn’t exactly like the idea but if it’ll get Justin to sleep and back to his usual weird, annoying, happy self he can probably put up with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to your regularly scheduled update lol. So I was all ready to update easy and right on time with a chapter I've had written for a while until I decided on Thursday to change the chapter I wanted to post. So I had to rush through writing this and owe de_la_cruz87 a great dept for helping me get this ready for all of you.
> 
> Next chapter should be the one I originally intended to post tonight so there shouldn't be any problems getting that one out on time! 
> 
> As always happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments!


	14. Righteous or Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doing what’s right is hard enough when the person he’s trying to do right by doesn’t make it intentionally harder.

Justin’s happy, it’s sort of strange to think that after everything he can be but he is. The Jensens are great, living with them-he doesn’t always understand everything but he likes it. The sad glances from Matt or Lainie when they think he isn’t looking, the way they’re very careful a lot of the time, especially Matt, it’s appreciated and annoying at the same time. He hates being treated like he might break but he also has maybe had one or two or a lot too many incidents where he’s proved he’s weak in front of them and if this is their version of judging him, he’ll take it.

Clay is unbelievable too. In so many ways, some good, some bad, some that leave Justin almost wanting to cry from gratitude or happiness or some other emotion he doesn’t really understand. Living with him is surprisingly easy too, most of the time. He’s strange, confusing, and absurd, sometimes annoying, but Justin loves him and it helps that Clay, and Tony too, looks out for him a lot.

And of course he has Jess. Being with her is like a never-ending dream, and while he’s still afraid that the dream will end, every moment he spends with her is more than he thought he would get and more dizzying and amazing than the last.

And yet, all that happiness just turned cold. Monty walks past the group of him, Bryce, Scott, and Luke without so much as a ‘hello’. Justin got a good enough look at him to see his busted lip and suddenly he hates himself more than he ever has in the past. He got out, he can be happy and safe, fall asleep and know no one is going to barge in and drag him out of bed and if he wakes up from some nightmare, whether he can remember it or not, he’s not alone. There’s a fifty fifty someone will come and sit up with him and if it’s Clay he’s usually guaranteed a bed to share which much as he hates to admit it, makes him feel safe and secure and loved and helps him sleep through the rest of the night, usually.

Monty doesn’t have that. He still lives with that old bastard. Monty Senior is renowned as one of the meanest men in the town and with good reason. He owns a contracting business that specializes in cheap prices, cheaper work, and a good likelihood of having racist, sexist, or homophobic slurs thrown at you, true or not. Mom had her faults, but he couldn’t imagine living with that man. He remembers several baseball games where the man was in the stands and made sure everyone knew who his son was and how much he hated him. Justin only remembers one person ever trying to stop him and the long list of profanities made even him blush and he had been called most of them before!

He claps Bryce on the back and tells him and Scott and the rest of the guys he’ll catch up with them later. Then he goes to find Zach which isn’t hard.

“Can I borrow the tub of K cream?”

Zach’s eyes go huge and a look of total horror spreads over his face. It would be funny if Justin didn’t immediately have to stop that sort of idea from forming in Zach’s head.

“It isn’t that, never again. The Jensens don’t do that kind of shit. Last week I broke curfew, I have a curfew, and I only got grounded, it’s kind of great.”

Zach lets out a breath and Justin feels guilty for even making him think that.

He gets it pretty easy after that and sets about tracking down Monty which is surprisingly easy in the saddest way. He’s in the locker room, sneaking a shower before the day starts. He waits until the shower goes off, stays behind a row of lockers and counts to one hundred. Monty’s temper on a good day is volatile. He can go from zero to nuclear in a matter of seconds and for reasons that with hours of thinking about, Justin still can’t figure out sometimes and the things that set him off one day may make him laugh like the funniest thing he’s ever heard the next. The range of emotions he can hit is dizzying, and that’s a good day. Today is not going to be a good day, or probably not. Justin’s hoping maybe he can make it so but he’s also hoping to get out of this without needing facial reconstruction surgery. His palms are sweating and he feels a little light headed. His heart races in his chest.

At the end of his countdown he makes his presence known and thankfully Monty is fully clothed and putting the last of his shower stuff away in his locker.

Justin clears his throat loud enough to get his attention and Monty spins around and gives him a dirty look, Justin might have been impressed if he didn’t know Bryce’s parents.

“The fuck to do you want Foley.”

He holds the tub out and Monty looks at it and then him and sneers, “The fuck is this? Lube you faggot?”

Blushing but trying to hold his temper he replies as calmly as he can, “K cream, helps with bruises and shit. Painkiller and healing cream together.”

The sneer gets more pronounced. “And what makes you think I need it?”

“I can see your collarbone.” It’s an interesting shade of yellow and green but he doesn’t mention that cause it would be extra; they both know what he means and Monty doesn’t pretend he doesn't.

“I don’t need your fucking charity Foley.”

“How about my help?” It’s a gamble that could either help or make him need that surgery or just about anything in between.

He gets the in between. Monty just looks at him confused for a few seconds and then finally says, “Fuck off Foley.” He pushes past him on the way out. His voice was more confused than angry though so Justin lets out his breath. He isn’t sure if it’s relief or disappointment or maybe a bit of both. He isn’t dead, but he didn’t help Monty either. He isn’t surprised, well maybe a little that he didn’t get punched but not that he didn’t help.

He stays another second or two but the bell rings and prompts him to go to class. He does his best to keep track of Monty through the day but they don’t have similar schedules at all so he really only sees him between classes and they don’t run into each other after school either.

By the time he gets home his head is spinning as he tries to figure out what exactly to do. It’s not like he expected everything to go completely right the first time and fix Monty’s problems easily but he had been hoping for some kind of indication that he might get somewhere.

When he gets to school the next day Monty avoids him, or maybe they just don’t cross paths. In fact it isn’t until two days later that he runs into the other boy again and despite the bruises clearing up, he looks worse for the wear. Tired maybe, is the best way to put it, as if every movement is a marathon. 

Justin’s familiar with it. Honestly he might even argue it’s worse than pain, at least pain keeps a person alert and awake, and when it turns to anger, it also keeps away emotional numbness. Exhaustion has no such upside, it eats away at a person, their energy to do anything but even more than that, it can almost kill a will to live. Being tired replaces everything else, laughing or smiling, even having a good time, seems like a chore and suddenly darker thoughts can slip in, wondering if going to sleep and not waking up would really be a bad thing.

Too bad knowing the feeling doesn't help him figure out a way to help, especially not one that Monty might help. He isn’t surprised when he learns Monty’s cut and probably gone somewhere to be by himself. 

After school he debates going to look for the boy but it seems pointless since he doesn’t even know where to start looking besides Monty’s house and there’s too many reasons not to go there, not the least of which being given how Monty senior is, he could end up causing more damage. Despite knowing logically going there is a bad idea, he still feels he’s taking the easy way out by not even trying.

For a few weeks things go on like this. No matter what he tries, his attempts to help are met with anger, yelling, and on several occasions almost get him punched in the face. It’s not surprising, not in the slightest and yet somehow it still hurts. He’s heard all the names before, most of them from Monty at one point or another but despite that he still feels the sting. He hasn’t yelled back though, that somehow seems like a worse idea. 

The worst part is in between all of the anger and rage, he’s started to wonder if maybe-maybe he is wrong. Maybe he should leave Monty be, after all, they existed together for years without ever trying to help one another. Is he only doing it now as some kind of way to help him feel less guilty for never doing anything before? Or maybe cause Monty’s right and he’s got some kind of savior complex now that he’s all cozy and safe. He hates that the other boy might be right, that somehow this is his guilty conscience speaking. When he started all of this by going to Mrs. Antilly he didn’t think it was cause he felt guilty, now he isn’t so sure.

Worse, he isn’t even sure he’s doing the right thing anymore, never mind the reason behind it. He- Monty lives with a monster, the same way Justin did almost anytime Mom brought home a new man but Justin doesn’t have to live with that anymore because Mom-Mom died. Monty Senior is still alive and well, at least physically, and in his position, he wouldn’t want to leave the security of knowing what to expect for having no idea who he was dealing with. It was the only security someone like Monty had and Justin almost felt sick with guilt realizing he was trying to take that away.

“Are you okay?”

He looks up started to find Lainie watching him with concern. He blushes and ducks his head to look back at the notebook open in front of him and mumbles, “Yeah I’m good.”

A shadow falls on him and he hears the chair across the table get pulled out. “Are you sure? Math was never my favorite subject but I was very good at it and thankfully they don’t change it very much.”

He lets out a soft laugh and then says, “It’s-can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How- do you know when you’re doing the right thing for the right reason?”

Lainie frowns and he ducks his head turning red. He tries to tell her to forget it but the words get stuck in his mouth and he can’t get them out. So he waits in a nervous, rigid state for her reply.

“It sounds like whatever made you ask this is a pretty big deal to you, isn’t it?”

His eyes widen cause that was not what he was expecting to hear but then he nods slowly. He wants to help Monty so that makes it a big deal right? It’s got him so messed up too so that has to count for something.

“And I assume that if you’re anything like Clay, or most teenagers I guess, you want me to answer the questions while giving me as few details as you can?”

A rueful smile breaks out because damn she’s good at this sort of thing. He nods again though.

She offers him a smile which is-complicated. For a second he wonders if he misunderstood her, thought she was joking when she wasn’t. Too many emotions in one smile, exasperation, annoyance, but fondness, and a lot of it and it’s still something strange for him to see.

“Well if you can’t give me any more details I’ll take a shot at answering for you.”

She waits a second, and he says, “I have a friend I’m trying to help but-I’m not sure- I thought I was doing the right thing but now I’m not sure and I thought I was doing it for them but now I think maybe it’s to make me feel better about not helping them before.”

“And you’ve thought about this too much and gotten all mixed up and don’t know what to think anymore?” 

A nod is all he can muster, feeling embarrassed.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

He can’t look up fast enough and when he meets her eyes, her expression is thoughtful but gentle. 

“I don’t think you’re doing this out of guilt. It just doesn’t seem like you. So if it isn’t guilt than you’re doing this because you care about this friend and that seems much more like you.”

He feels a dark blush creeping up his neck and ears. It’s sort of funny, he doesn’t blush for anyone, ever, or he didn’t used to. Now between Jess and Lainie, he seems to be doing it a lot. He isn’t sure he likes it, it some ways it almost makes him feel weak, like suddenly he can’t control himself. He mentioned it to Bryce who teased him. He asked Clay about it and he just sort of shrugged and said maybe it’s because none of the girls mattered before Jess. He didn’t have an answer for Lainie though and Justin’s maybe relieved because he has a feeling it would be trash talk about Amber.

“As for if you’re doing the right thing, that’s harder to answer. Things can be complicated and sometimes the line is fuzzy between right and wrong but I think that as long as what you’re doing is motivated by the right reasons that it can’t be all bad.”

It...isn’t what he wanted, not exactly. He was hoping for something more definite but it’s more than anyone in the world would have given him and so that makes it the best advice in the world. He can’t totally stop worrying about it but he’s able to calm those fears a little because he does want to help Monty. He wants to help the boy who looks like him if he were meaner, and angrier, the boy he could have been very easily but somehow isn’t. The boy he wanted as his friend the first time he saw him. And he’s going to do it, even if it kills him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go, another chapter and on Friday! Here we have Justin pursuing his Monty outreach even as Monty puts up barriers. At least he has moral support from Lainie. Big thanks to de_la_cruz87 for helping me with the proof reading and you should check out their page for more great stories!
> 
> Next chapter should be out this time next week, it's already written and proof read so it should come out on time with no problems, should be a funny chapter to lighten the mood a little.
> 
> As always happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments!


	15. Sandwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a sandwich shop Justin really, really likes, and one he wants Clay to like too unfortunately this is the same guy who thinks mild chili is spicy and prefers sweet barbeque sauce to hot. Still he manages to get Clay to come and try it, he’s only hoping Clay likes it otherwise he’ll have to hear about how he’s trying to kill him for the next week.

As he leads Clay up to the door, the other boy looks dubiously at the little hole in the wall shop and asks, “Are we really going to eat here?” 

He feels himself stiffen cause that’s totally Clay’s judging face, or one of many at least and he really just wants his brother to try this but also Clay is fucking stubborn as hell so if he decides against it, Justin knows he can’t change his mind.

“I promise the sandwich isn't _that_ spicy it’s just got a bit of a kick to it and it’s like, the best damn sandwich in Crestmont, trust me it’s delicious.”

“Okay a) I don’t believe you it’s not going to be spicy and I hate spicy food, and b) you think the smiles from the fucking cafeteria are ‘amazing’ so your tastebuds are messed up.” 

“How can you not like something that literally smiles at you? They’re always happy to see you! And if you don’t like it I’ll like, give you money to get something else on the menu that’s boring.”

“I don’t eat boring- never mind. That’s morbid because you're going to eat them and they’re always soggy, need salt, and have probably been cooked three or four times by the time we eat them. Honestly the school must be trying to kill us between them and those nasty, shriveled hotdogs that they come with.”

He doesn’t reply and unfortunately seems to understand why and with a roll of his eyes demands, “Really?”

“They’re not that bad.”

“Yes they-”

“Let’s just go in.” Clay will happily stand outside and debate the merits of cafeteria lunch all day.

As they enter he sees Marie, the little Spanish lady who runs the shop on her own and gives her a happy wave which she replies with a big smile. He likes her, she’s always friendly and happy to see him and for the right amount of flattery will charge him less. He loved her for that alone and that makes the twenty he plans on tipping totally worth it.

Clay follows in his shadow wearily as he approaches the counter and smiles at her and places the order. Tells her she looks beautiful and enjoys the twitch the side of her lips makes as he says it. Clay of course is looking at him in shock and if Marie didn’t deserve his attention he’d smirk at Clay.

While she makes the food they have a conversation, her half in Spanish, his mostly in English with some Spanish when he knows what to say. She’s easy to talk to and when she asks, he tells her Clay’s his cousin and he’s staying with him. It seems easier than going into the whole story but he deliberately gives that part in Spanish so Clay can’t understand it, he doesn't need the meal ruined by sad looks from across the table. He asks about her granddaughter and they talk about a few other things, all meaningless until the food is done. Then sandwiches in hand, he leads Clay further into the shop where the other boy has apparently found his voice and demands to know since when he could speak Spanish and what he said about him to get her to laugh. It’s such a Clay line of questioning that he bursts out laughing and can’t resist messing with him a little.

“I’ve always been able to, sort of it’s more like Spanglish but it gets the job done and I told her I brought you to show her what a real white boy is like.”

That gets him fuming but also fumbling with his words and Justin wonders if it makes him a bad person that he’s enjoying this so much. By the time he gets them unwrapped and passes one over to Clay, he’s found his voice but while Justin unwraps the sandwiches and passes one over to him. Before Clay gets a chance to reply though Tony comes out of the bathroom and looks at them in surprise for a moment before grinning. He ends up getting his drink and joins them, already finished with his food and when he sits down he notices what they’re eating.

“Good taste, these are the best sandwiches in town.”

Clay is still looking at his suspiciously and Tony nudges him. “You going to be able to eat that?”

Justin’s surprised by the sudden shift as Clay suddenly does a one eighty and gets all defensive. “I can handle it just fine. I eat your mom’s cooking when I'm over just fine!”

Tony gives him a slight smirk and it’s sort of strange to see on the older boy’s usually serious face. Justin thinks it suits him, the mischief is subtle and it makes him look younger which is also nice. 

“When you came over the first time my mom used the < i > gringo spices and it was too hot for you. She’s had to dumb it down even more for you than anyone else.”

He almost chokes on the bite he’s just taken and Clay does. Tony starts laughing and he does too a moment later and Clay grumbles something about how he’s still friends with them. 

Tony of course has a reply. “Cause we keep you from hurting yourself.”

“Fine, I’ll show you both-”

“-I haven’t said anything!” He feels he needs to defend himself. Tony’s making fun of Clay, not him.

“-that I can handle one sandwich!”

He takes a bite, chews, and swallows, then sits the sandwich down. “See? No problem!”

“Your eyes are watering.” He doesn’t mean to actually say it, but it sort of slips out but it’s kind of funny in a cartoony way, the water collects in the corner of Clay’s eyes and a tear lazily starts to slide down his face. He gets a dirty, tearful look.

Tony doesn’t say anything but evidently Clay still feels pressured and takes another, much larger bite. 

The world seems to stop for a few seconds and Justin morbidly wonders if Clay dies here if the Jensens will blame him and send him away as revenge because Clay’s face is an interesting shade of red and he’s sweating really bad.

Tony of course acts first and disappears, coming back with a carton of milk which he already has open and pushes into Clay’s hand. He greedily downs it and then disappears into the bathroom.

They wait at the table, Justin casually eating his sandwich and Tony sipping his drink until Tony breaks the silence. “When I was coming out of the bathroom I thought I heard Clay talking about you speaking Spanish.”

“It’s ughh rough.”

“But you understand it spoken pretty well don’t you?”

“Yea.”

“So way back at my house that one night when my dad was quizzing me, you knew exactly what we were saying didn’t you?”

He nods.

Tony just shakes his head, “You never stop amazing me Justin.”

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to listen but-”

Tony cuts him off with a wave of his hand. “I was wondering why you seemed so much less tense after that. I thought you finally realized we weren’t going to eat you,”

He gives a bit of a grin, being afraid of Tony, it seems so stupid now because Tony isn’t nearly as scary as he thought his whole life, he’s easy to talk to, more than Clay or any of the Jensens actually, and patient and smart. Actually he’s the one person who doesn’t mind listening to stories about Mom, the better ones. He’s more understanding in that way than Clay and he hasn’t needed to talk to Tony about Mom since that one time but it’s nice to know that he can if he ever does. 

“Wish I realized sooner.”

“You did when you needed to.”

They lapse into silence for a minute and then he grins slightly. As great as Tony is pestering him is also a lot of fun, it’s sort of like poking a bear cause Tony is really strong and pushing him too far will get a reaction of some kind, so far Tony’s preferred a light smack on the back of his head or putting him in a headlock for a noogie, he’s also ended up on the floor wrestling unsuccessfully with him. It’s also kind of nice, Clay tends to treat him like he’s glass sometimes, when he wants to roughhouse with him, he has to really try. Clay usually will eventually but now that he’s taller than Clay the other boy is more careful about it. Tony holds no such reservations, he’s not as easy to goad into it as Zach but Justin guesses that with three older brothers, Tony’s sort of used to it. Still, the thrill of it is pretty fun, an adrenaline rush and since he’s drinking and smoking less, Lainie caught him drunk once and he got grounded, he’s not looking to repeat that, nor does he need it as much, things like this are the best way to get his fix.

“So you’re fond of me?”

“I am.”

“So if I asked you to teach me to drive in your Mustang you’d do it?” 

Tony raises an eyebrow and replies, “If you scratched my car I’d have to kill you and since I like you it would be hard to make you look like the school’s meatloaf.”

“Don’t tell me after tricking me into eating that nuclear warhead between bread you’re having second thoughts about it?” Clay plops back into his chair looking at him accusingly, he then levels the same look at Tony.

“We didn’t trick you, you did it all to yourself.”

Justin has to keep in a laugh at the indignation on Clay’s face because they still have to get home together and being able to talk to Clay for the bus ride would be nice. Too bad Clay's sputtering is really funny cause it makes his job that much harder. He tries to hide it with his water bottle.

They go on for a bit, Tony teasing Clay who never seems to get ahead before Tony apparently feels bad and decides to play nice. They end up talking about nothing in particular after that and it’s fun,when he and Clay leave nearly an hour later, the other boy has clearly forgotten he’s supposed to be annoyed, Justin doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to convince him to go back but Tony likes it and so does Zach so he won’t have to come alone, he was hoping Clay would like this place but all well, some other one maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a new chapter and after the last one, hopefully a happier, and funnier one. I've had plans for this chapter since way back in part 2, I can easily see Clay as a wimp when it comes to hot food while Justin, true to character, loves pretty much all food. Tony happens to be here for extra fun.
> 
> Next chapter is going to be same time next week, featuring a sick Justin. At least for the moment.
> 
> Special thanks to de_la_cruz87 for beta reading the chapter. Hope you all enjoyed and let me know what you think in the comments!


	16. Bryce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin’s excited to spend some quality time with Bryce. It doesn’t go exactly how he planned though.

He and Bryce are laying out in the Walkers’ backyard soaking up the sun. They just christened the pool with the first swim of the year so they’re also working on drying off too and honestly it’s nice. Things between them have been a little weird for a while but he isn’t totally sure what it is. He thinks it might be growing pains, him living with the Jensens was a big change for their relationship and he thinks they're just trying to find a new normal. That’s one of the reasons he was so excited when Bryce invited him over to do this, it’s been a long standing tradition of theirs.

And it was okay for a while, they splashed around for a bit and everything seemed fine but that could have just been because he was distracted by the pool...Bryce thinks he’s a fish and he’s honestly okay with that. 

Now that they’re out though he feels the awkwardness return cause even though he’s tried starting a few conversations, they haven’t caught on.

Finally Bryce turns his head to face him and starts talking, “I’ve been missing you Justy, it’s been a while since it’s just been you and me.”

“Yea-yea it has been.” 

It’s true, they haven’t really hung out alone in months but that’s cause he no longer has to stay a few nights a week to get out of the house. They hang out after school with the guys and he still goes to a lot of Bryce’s parties but it’s different cause there’s always been a crowd around, or at least two or three other people. He’s missed it, his time alone with Bryce. At the same time he missed it even when he had it, in a way. Since Bryce got to high school, Justin’s never been able to shake the feeling that he’s been some kind of tag along or extra and Bryce would rather be without him sometimes. He always thought he was a bad friend for not giving Bryce more space. 

Thing is, now he can and maybe he’s been trying to make up for being a bad friend in the past by giving Bryce space but he’s over done it? His head hurts just thinking about it. 

“And whose fault is that? I’ve been thinking you replaced me with Jensen and Padilla, hurts a little to think about. I’ve been your best friend for forever and it feels like all that’s gone unappreciated.”

“Bryce-no-never I-Clay and Tony are great but they aren’t you, no one could replace you.”

Bryce looks at him and he feels like the worst person in the world. Like all the times Mom said he was ungrateful he deserved it and all the times Mr. Walker said he’d leave Bryce the moment it was convenient were also true.

“Doesn’t feel that way, it feels like suddenly you got a shiny new place to live and people to hang out with and forgot all about your brother.”

And he feels sick to his stomach and stumbles to try to reply even as he feels Bryce is right because any space between them would be his fault, it could never be Bryce’s, Bryce has always been there for him, how could he ever forget that? “Never, what you and I have is special. I-I won’t ever forget you.”

Bryce looks at doubtfully. “Promise.”

“Of course. You’re still my best friend and nothing is going to change that.”

Bryce looks at him with such intensity that the older boy seems to be looking right through his soul for a moment. Justin resists the urge to squirm but it’s hard. 

Finally Bryce lets up and leans back to recline in his chair asking lazily, “So what’s it like living with Jensen, he’s such a nerd that I didn’t think you’d be able to deal with him but you actually seem to like him a lot.”

There might be a hint of accusation in his voice but with Bryce no longer looking at him Justin almost feels safe enough to squirm because the question is loaded and they both know it. Bryce has never liked Clay and well...the feeling is mutual. Clay sees it as an epic clash of good and evil like some comic book where he’s the good and Bryce is the evil and assumes Bryce sees it the same way. He’s wrong though, Bryce doesn't like him, but he’d never be able to tell Clay that Bryce only thinks of him as gum he’s stepped in, or on. He doubts Clay cross his mind much unless they’re near each other.

“He’s fine when you get to know him.” Great, or at least good depending on the day, are more accurate but Bryce doesn’t like sissy shit and emotions and talking about feelings fall into that.

“Fine?” Bryce snorts slightly and Justin gets all ready to defend Clay...as best he can when Bryce finishes, “You traded me for ‘fine’? I’m embarrassed.”

“I didn’t-”

“No it’s cool. I mean I’m only your best friend and to know you’ve been spending more time with someone who’s ‘fine’ really makes me feel great.”

He shifts uncomfortably, the sick feeling returning full force but replies, “I-I thought you’d like the space you always remind me that we aren’t kids anymore and I don’t need to follow you everywhere. And-”

A chuckle comes out of Bryce who reaches over to nudge him. “Relax Justy I’m kidding. You sound like a girl.”

He forces a chuckle of his own but decides not to reply. Bryce once again settles down and they lapse into silence for a while. He tries to relax but he keeps expecting Bryce to resume talking and he knows better than to try to start a conversation on his own. All day they’ve failed to take and now he knows it’s cause anything he asks about is an opportunity for Bryce to mention that if he was around more he’d know and any story Justin could tell would further remind them of how much time apart they’ve been spending lately. 

The worst part is that he hasn’t really felt a drift away from Bryce. It’s not like they don’t spend any time together and while he has missed their one on one time, it’s not like he’s felt super disconnected from his best friend, maybe a little but they still interact daily over text if not in person. Still it makes him a bad friend that he didn’t know the source of the weirdness between them was his fault and that he didn’t realize he should have been spending more time with Bryce. After all the older boy has done for him it makes the feeling extra bitter.

Bryce stirs again and Justin’s pretty sure his heart might explode from stress when he starts talking. “Been meaning to ask you; how’s Jess? I heard from Mike that she's good.”

Justin settles back down finally and almost heaves a sigh of relief, replying, “Honestly we don’t have sex that much.”

“Aww are Justy’s new mommy and daddy nosy and might walk in on something he doesn’t want them to see? Well remember that you can always bring her over here; you know the pool house is a good spot.”

“It’s not like that, we just, I dunno, we don’t really need to have sex that much. Thanks for the offer though.”

“So she blue balling you.” He can feel Bryce’s eyes on him now.

He rolls his own. “No, when we want to have sex we manage. It’s just sometimes there are better things than sex.”

Bryce snorts, “If you tell me cuddling I’m dumping you in the pool.”

That is part of what he meant but also he knows better than to say that to Bryce who only ever sees cuddling as useful if it leads to sex. Justin’s been with some girls where cuddling was better than anything else and honestly he enjoys it about as much as having sex most of the time any way.

“Nah, we talk a lot. She’s a lot smarter than I am, has plans for the future and stuff and ideas about the world and stuff like that. It’s interesting to listen to.” She also talks about fashion and cheer leading and other less interesting stuff but he won’t mention that, no sense in provoking Bryce more than necessary.

Another snort comes from the older boy who replies, “What did I say about smart girls?”

He blushes a little and replies, “That they’re dangerous and stick to pretty and dumber than me?”

“That’s right. Smart ones are dangerous, they wrap you around their fingers and turn you into a little bitch boy. Trust me, stick to stupid, it suits you.”

“Right.”

They change topic, Bryce starts telling him about something that happened at practice and that’s good enough for the tension to lessen. By the time he leaves, he’s managed to convince himself that unpleasant as the whole thing was, he can keep it from happening again by spending more time with Bryce and that he’s been ungrateful to the older boy for creating problems in their relationship. A bitter, heavy feeling lingers in him all the way until bed but it’s fine, he deserves the reminder. Tomorrow will be better, he’ll think of something he and Bryce can do together and he’ll spend the weekend with him doing something, even just bumming at his house. It’ll be fine, he can make it fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And welcome to a new chapter. This one deals with Bryce, who much as I don't like him is a central part of Justin's life and needed a chapter now to lead into the next major part, even if it's just a blip to look into how they're both handling the new change in their relationship. Bryce of course isn't very happy and poor Justin is confused.
> 
> Next chapter will be something light and fluffy to help you get over this, expect it this time next week, and I have exciting news. After this chapter there are 3 more until the end of this fic! Of course it isn't the last part so don't feel too upset. Speaking of the next part I think I've decided how I want to format the rest of the story going forth and it'll be like this, the current fic will take us to the end of Clay and Justin's sophomore year. Then I'm going to have a really, really short part 4 that'll be 5 chapters or less to do the summer, expect a lot of fluff and fun stuff. Then a single, long chapter as part 5, and a part 6 which will be multi-chapter but hopefully only around 10 chapters so I can actually finish it!
> 
> As always happy reading and let me know what you think in the comments!


	17. Illness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jensen’s get acquainted with Justin’s propensity for sickness and learn to adapt.

Lainie’s pretty used to the boys making life in the morning interesting, well they make life in general interesting but especially in the morning. Clay’s grouchiest then and Justin’s way too happy for anyone’s good and between the two she sometimes feels like their five and six instead of fifteen and sixteen. 

This morning though is abnormally quiet and that’s not good. The last time a morning was this quiet, the boys were fighting about something stupid, they don’t even remember so she can’t either, but it started a three day long cold war.

Remembering that she climbs the stairs and passes the bathroom which is open, Clay should be taking a shower right now. Arriving at their door, she taps on it before entering to find both still asleep. 

“Boys!” Part of her is annoyed, they should have been up a while ago but it’s not like they were up late last night, actually they went to bed pretty early. She also gets to watch Clay almost jump out of bed which she’s willing to admit to herself is kind of funny. He says something that is half mumbled and half gibberish and she can’t figure out but then he looks at his phone,sees the time and glares over at the other bed and accuses, “Your alarm never went off.”

She too looks over at Justin, who’s sitting up and blushing but his eyes look sort of glazed.

Clay’s crossed the room to stand by the bed, reaching for Justin’s phone unlocking it and then complaining, “You didn’t even set an alarm, what the hell Justin?”

For his part, her younger son’s face is an interesting color. It isn’t until too late that she starts to warn Clay to move back as she reaches for the trash can. Too late for all of them. Justin throws up, it gets on Clay, and she has to deal with one now obviously sick boy and another very vocal but well one. Luckily backup arrives and she almost laughs when Matt rolls his eyes at Clay’s dramatics. He pulls their puke stained oldest out of the room. 

With the noise maker gone, she turns her attention to Justin whose expression is partly confused and mostly terrified. Approaching slowly she takes a seat on the edge of the bed that’s clean and lays her hand against his forehead.

“Feeling sick?”

He stiffens under her hand which is...upsetting. He usually does to Matt not her.

“I’m fine.” He says it quickly, like he’s defending himself and that just makes her sadder.

“I don’t think you are love. How about you go get some clean clothes and I’ll strip the bed?”

He looks at her with wide eyes for a solid second before he does. As he’s moving, Matt comes in and grabs clothes for Clay, sending her a questioning look. She shrugs, diagnosis will come later, cleaning vomit takes priority. 

An hour later, she’s down two of her boys and can finally relax, getting Clay out of the house had been great but honestly Matt was the one giving her anxiety with his. She doesn’t blame him, not exactly, someone from CPS is supposed to be visiting and it doesn’t exactly look great for them that Justin may be sick for the visit but it also can’t be helped. 

With him out of the house it makes her life easier and hopefully going to work will mellow him out a little. In the meantime she’s free to deal with her own problem, namely how to treat Justin. Clay’s pretty healthy most of the time but the few times he has gotten sick in recent memory, he’s been even more prickly than usual leaving her to basically just leave food and medicine with him and assume he’ll work it out on his own. He’s a teenager and wants to be independent but now she has to figure out if the same will hold true for Justin who in many ways is everything Clay isn’t. 

She goes back and forth on how to handle this particular dilemma for a while before deciding to just bring him up the next dose of medicine and talk with him a bit if he felt up to it.

When she comes in he’s sleeping, at least she thinks he is until his eyes snap open and his head pops up and for just a second he looks terrified. She thinks he must recognize her or something cause he relaxes enough.

“Hi sweetie, I’ve got some medicine and gatorade for you. How are you feeling?”

He looks at her shyly but does perk up at the mention of gatorade. She passes him the pills and the bottle and when he’s had some he answers her original question exactly how she expected him to.

“I’m fine. Just a little sick is all.” 

He gives her that smile that even at less than full strength is still pretty convincing. She doesn’t believe it though, and wouldn’t have even if she hadn’t spent part of the morning dealing with his vomit.

She takes a seat at the edge of his bed and probes gently, “You know it’s okay if you aren’t right?”

He looks at her for a moment with the most heartbreaking expression. She thinks she probably should have let it pass on her own but can’t and reaches out and ends up with an armful of very sick and slightly sweaty teenage boy. He doesn’t say anything, just kind of leans against her and she wishes she had any idea what he wanted but the best she can do is hold him and comb her fingers through his hair.

He ends up falling asleep like that somehow, she used to marvel at the positions he could fall asleep in but after a few months gave that up and just accepted it. As she’s laying him back down to sleep he grabs her hand for a moment and whispers, “Thanks Mom,” before falling asleep.

She’s torn somehow between delight and also doubt and shame all at once. It’s the first time he’s ever called her mom and she wants to be happy because even though she’s never asked him too, she’s always wanted to be more than ‘Lainie’ to him. And yet, Amber was still a person and much as she disliked the woman and finds new reasons daily to dislike her more, she doesn’t want Justin to think she’s trying to replace his birth mother. Not because she respects Amber’s parenting ability in the slightest but because the only person who would be hurt by it would be Justin and he’s already hurt enough. 

In the end she decides worrying is pointless for the moment, about that at least. Justin’s sick and there’s a good chance the fever is affecting his thinking. He could have thought she was Amber or not know who she was at all. When he’s better she’ll wait for him to make the move on the name front, if he still wants to call her mom, she won’t make a big deal...out loud. If not, she’ll swallow her disappointment. Till then...well it may make her a terrible parent, but she might enjoy this sickness just a little. 

\----------------

Matt’s in his study working when he hears movement. That shouldn’t be the case, he and Justin are the only ones home and Justin should be sleeping. He heads out the door and is on his way down the stairs when he suddenly hears a crash and that gets him moving faster. It comes from the kitchen and he probably should have expected that at some point the boy would find his way in there. 

When he enters he finds Justin by the sink, a glass broken in pieces on the ground and the teen crouched down trying to pick them up. 

“Stop!” 

Justin looks up and his flushed face and glazed eyes register another person but not what was said, at least that’s what Matt assumes because he frantically tries to pick up more glass faster.

Matt crosses the room in several long steps, thankful he’s wearing shoes, and kneels down next to him, grabbing his wrists tightly. Justin’s eyes meet his but Matt has no idea what he’s seeing, only that it terrifies him.

“ ‘M sorry, ‘m sorry.” 

Matt sighs and lets go of one of the skinny wrists to stroke Justin’s sweaty curls, after a brushes, the boy leans into the motion tiredly. 

“Shh, don’t be sorry, it’s okay. The glass can be replaced, your hands can’t.”

Justin wears a doubtful expression that also dares not to be hopeful.

“Open your fists for me?” He asks softly.

Justin looks at him for a moment longer and then does. The damage isn’t bad considering what could be. Apparently he got there when he needed too and Justin got nothing more than a few scrapes on his palms and fingers, no glass embedded in the skin and not in veins or arteries cut. He brushes the little bits of glass out of his hands and back to the floor before taking a serious look at Justin.

“I need you to stand up for me, can you do that?”

A shy nod and then Matt counts down before they both rise up. Once Justin is standing it’s simple work to heave the boy onto the counter. He half expects Justin to throw up because he’s done a lot of that the past two days but he’s pleasantly surprised when he doesn’t, just confused and startled.

“Stay there.” After getting a drowsy nod, he heads over to grab the dustpan and hand broom, on a good day the regular broom might only make Justin flinch slightly but today wasn’t a good day by any stretch of the imagination and he doesn’t want to scare Justin more than necessary. 

He returns and sweeps up the broken glass as quickly as he can and then takes the opportunity to inspect the pair of bare feet dangling at eye level; he’s pleased to find them not even scratched by the glass. He finds his reusable bottle and fills it passing it to the boy. It’s made of heavy plastic and having hit it with his car...twice... he’s quite confident it's beyond Justin’s capacity to destroy at the moment, or at least not as easily as a glass cup.

Justin needs no prompting and takes a couple of long mouthfuls while Matt retrieves the first aid kit from under the sink and sets it on the counter. A few moments later, he’s wiped both hands down with alcohol wipes and wrapped them up.

The whole process has taken less than five minutes from finding Justin to tying off the last of the bandage but a look at Justin and Matt could have believed it had been hours of grueling work.

“We should get you back to bed huh?”

A sleepy nod is all he gets and he helps the boy down and back to the living room, water bottle clenched in one hand, the other in Matt’s hand. After settling Justin on the couch and pulling the blankets over him, he returns to his office to grab a few things and relocate to the living room.

As he’s coming down the stairs he finds Justin sitting up looking at them with big, sad eyes, lower lip set in a slight pout. Seeing Matt relaxes him right away and he lets Matt help him lay back down and fix the covers around him again. 

Justin goes to sleep not too much later while Matt settles into grading for one of his classes. For a while it’s fine, the soft snoring is white noise he eventually tunes out and loses himself in the mindless reading.

When he pulls himself from it he notices the snoring has ended and a glance up confirms Justin is awake and looking at him with a strange expression. 

“You didn’t leave?” He sounds...a lot of things, confused and surprised mostly but Matt thinks there are other things lurking there.

“Should I have?”

He doesn’t get a reply but Matt has an uncomfortable feeling he has some idea of what’s going on in the teen’s head. The hospital trip before Justin was even living with them suddenly came to mind and he remembers how grateful Justin had been not to be left there. It isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle but it’s enough to know it isn’t pretty. 

As he looks over again, Justin’s gone back to sleep and Matt can’t help but chuckle a little at the position, to be young and not worried about neck cramps. He helps the sleeping boy lie back down and goes back to his work. Justin may never give them all the details, not him, nor Lainie, not even Clay, but he knows enough to stay now and if each time Justin is surprised when he wakes up and Matt is still there, he’ll try not to let it bother him that this is apparently a first for the boy and get him to the point where he doesn’t need to be surprised.

\----------------

Clay tries really hard to deal with Justin when he’s sick, to be patient and kind and understanding since he knows Justin doesn’t like it anymore than him but after getting puked on for the second time, he keeps his space. According to Zach Justin getting sick is just a part of the colder months, the other boy alluded to a weak immune system with malnutrition and neglect at the heart of it and while Clay wouldn’t be surprised, he also knows Zach can’t possibly know that either. Still, much as he likes Justin and feels bad for him, he’s sick of the vomiting on him and in their room and doesn’t feel bad when he convinces his parents to evict him down to the couch for the remainder of the sickness...well not too bad.

It’s mostly over now though and his parents decided, without asking him, to move Justin back after priming his pump with a dinner of something other than plain white rice which even Justin wrinkled his nose at. Needless to say he’s expecting a lot of throw up if not on him than definitely in the room. He’s already planning the ‘I told you so’ speech to his parents, it’s petty, but also he did tell them.

Right now Justin’s restlessly shifting around his bed. He changes position every minute or so, apparently quick to decide it isn’t right but not able to find what is the right one. The constant rustling of blankets is annoying but he bites his tongue for a while knowing he just needs to wait for the Tylenol to kick in and ease the muscle aches and hopefully help Justin go to sleep.

Of course it doesn't work out that neatly because why would it? He finishes his homework despite the distraction but Justin’s still not settled down, not by a long shot. Clay’s half tempted to turn on the N64 but Justin’s focus has been pretty bad lately and sitting on the cold floor probably isn’t good for him anyway.

“I’m bored.” 

Suddenly he has a feeling his sympathy isn’t going to go unpunished.

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“I dunno, maybe like read to me or something.” 

He has to look over but Justin grinning at him and Clay can’t totally tell if it's sincere or teasing but he grabs his copy of _The Hobbit_. He half expects Justin to comment on it being a nerd book but he looks somewhere between surprised and maybe a little eager...Clay supposes that for someone like Justin being sick must be a nightmare, the younger boy barely stops moving most days and Mom and Dad have kept him mostly confined to bed and then later the couch with trips to the bathroom and after Justin’s little adventure to kitchen the confinement got more strenuous, almost to the point he thought Mom might try tying him to the couch. So even if he’s only looking for this as a distraction, Clay can appreciate it.

Deciding where to sit to read is a bit tricky, his bed is on the other side of the room and requires him raising his voice and the couch has his back to Justin. Eventually he ends up taking a seat on Justin's bed and reminds himself, repeatedly, that it’s been washed since Justin last threw up on it.

It’s a little unfortunate that Clay forgot how slow it starts because for a few chapters he thinks Justin might tell him to stop but he gets into it eventually. He isn’t too happy when Justin presses up against him because he can feel the vaguely feverish heat coming from the other boy but it’s better than him complaining and whining even if he does have to stop once in a while to explain some ridiculous questions about dwarfs or wizards or hobbits but in the end it does the job of distracting Justin. Too good a job maybe, he becomes aware that Justin’s leaning on him more heavily and breathing more heavily and he's totally asleep. It’s slightly annoying but also he’s surprisingly warm and comfortable for the moment. Flipping ahead a little he decides finishing the chapter won’t hurt but his eyes feel heavier and heavier with each chapter.

The next morning he wakes up with a crick in his neck and Justin’s head on his shoulder. He should probably get up and do something with the day, but he’s comfortable so staying a while longer won’t hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a new chapter! This one is pure tooth rotting fluff which after some of the past few I felt was deserved and I certainly enjoyed writing a Jensen sampler all for the same chapter. Matt's part has been written for a month and then within a last two weeks I added Lainie and Clay's to it to beef up the chapter but also to spend some time in each family members mind. 
> 
> Next up is going to be a Monty chapter to help set up for later story events and then after that the final chapter of this part! Hope you're all enjoying and I'm excited to be bringing this part to a close as I work on chapters for part 4 which as an FYI is going to be mostly fluff and good feelings and comedy so if that's your cup of tea, you're in for a good time.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy reading and a special thanks to de_la_cruz87 for beta reading and helping me get this ready for all of you. If you haven't heard of her, you should totally check out her gallery since she's an amazing writer. Enjoy the chapter and see you next Friday!


	18. Baseball and Summer Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer comes with a unique set of problems for kids with a lot of problems already, Justin knows better than most. That’s why he wants to try to help someone else this summer.

Justin finally digs up his baseball glove. A present from Bryce years ago, when he hoped Justin would learn how to play the game and join him on the team. It never happened, he’s still ass at baseball but it might not be such a bad thing now. He thankfully avoids hitting his head on the bed as he sits up and tries the glove on, happy it still fits. He heads downstairs. Clay’s out to work so he won’t have to explain himself to his brother and Matt won’t ask any questions and might offer to drive him; Lainie’s working even though it’s Sunday so she isn’t around. He declines the ride though, he needs to clear his head.

School ends in three days and he wants to be ready...summer-before this year was always something he was nervous about. Sure it could be awesome but it could also suck, it depended on a lot of things not in his control. Mom could make or break a summer with her boyfriends and attempts at sobriety and of course there was the one summer with Peppermint Patty-anyway last summer he avoided summer school with a flat seventy in algebra and it’s only cause Ms. Zlotnik liked him a lot. He spent it in a haze of parties with Bryce, basketball with Zach, and a summer fling with Kat that was magic...and he somehow only lost half the weight he usually did because Zach fed him almost every day.

That was the real danger of summer, sure not needing to be somewhere was scary because it meant no one had any reason to come looking for you if you missed a few days, and in that way summer school was almost a good thing. But summer school doesn't provide lunch the same way normal school does and without it, summer sometimes was the hungriest months. In general it was easy to-to be forgotten during the summer.

So that’s why he’s hatched this plan, even though it might burn him in the end. The walk to the park seems too fast even though it’s hot. When he gets there the basketball court is empty and he almost wants to call Zach and start a game because it would be so much easier but he didn’t come to do what’s easy and steeling himself, he ventures further into the park and finds the batting cages. It only takes a scan to find who he’s looking for.

When he approaches Monty the boy seems emotionally calm but he’s already sweating from swinging the bat loaded down with training weights in the heat. He sees Justin approach and raises an eyebrow but offers a casual greeting, must be in a good mood today. Justin replies similarly and then Monty goes back to swinging for a while. He’s obviously doing sets so Justin waits and when he’s finally done, Monty breaks the silence. 

“What do you want Justin?” 

Despite the harsh wording the tone is more curious and the lack of any curse words proves he isn’t angry...yet. Summoning the best sheepish look he can he says, “I want to be better at baseball and I thought I could find someone from the team down here. Mind helping me out a bit?”

It’s a gamble. Monty could react just about any way to this but he looks Justin up and down for a moment and then says “Can you throw a pitch alright?”

He shrugs, “Sort of.” Zach helped him practice with that, it's the only part of the game he's passable at.

Monty leans back on the bat for a moment contemplating the offer and then says, “I’ll take it.”

About an hour later Justin’s impressed. They’ve devolved to more a game of catch than actual baseball because it’s too hot to be doing anything more labor intensive even in the shade. What’s more amazing is that they’re doing more talking than playing. Usually he and Monty need someone else, Bryce, Scott, Jeff, Willem, Luke, anyone really, to facilitate conversation between them. It’s not that they always get nasty when alone but conversation topics between them are few and far between. Monty doesn’t like talking about emotional things, Justin finds fighting distasteful, Monty shows very little interest in most girls, Justin doesn’t know much about cars. Monty attends parties, Justin loves them. Basically the only safe topic they can get through reliably is sports but even that is sometimes tense between them.

Today is different. Maybe because for the most part he’s letting Monty do all the talking and it’s all about baseball. He has a feeling this is how he sounds when he talks about basketball and if it is, he doesn’t blame Jess for rolling her eyes sometimes...he may still blame Clay for not even letting him start. Monty explanations are long, opinion laced ramblings that are actually pretty interesting but sometimes hard to follow. The other boy jumps from topic to topic that he’s sure are connected in Monty’s head somehow but that connection is missing for him. He throws in a question once in a while when his curiosity gets the better of him but for the most part he doesn’t want to interrupt the longest and most pleasant conversation he’s ever had with Monty.

Around one Monty heads to the bathroom and Justin walks over to the hot dog cart that’s always here and gets two hot dogs with the works. He could polish both of easy enough but he heads back to a picnic table by where they were. When Monty returns, Justin pushes the other hot dog over to him.

“I can’t pay you back.” It isn't exactly hostile or embarrassed, more like matter of fact with a slight edge that dared him to say something wrong without giving much indication of what kind of answer Monty wants.

“You can later, besides you’re grouchy when hungry.”

It works and Monty takes the offered food. Justin knew he had to make it seem both selfishly motivated and like not a big deal in order for him to take the food. If he made it seem like a gift or because he had any kind of concern for Monty, the other boy would throw it back at him and Justin would never be able to convince him to do anything like this again.

They eat in silence but it isn’t uncomfortable. Actually it’s probably as close to companionable as any he’s ever had with the other boy. When they finish they resume their game of catch which Monty turns into pitching practice. The conversation turns to basketball at Monty’s invitation and Justin is happy to ramble on about the sport for almost two hours with input from Monty here and there.

When the other boy finally has to call it a day Justin feels the same sadness as if this were Zach or Bryce. They walk out of the park together but Monty finally says, “You could ask Bryce or Zach for help, why me?”

Another delicate question, another minefield to navigate and not get blown up in, joy. “Bryce is going away for a few weeks in the summer and Zach’s stuck with May for a lot of it. You have summer school and work but I figure I’ll still see you more than them.” 

A snort but nothing more, Monty doesn’t believe him but by some miracle, he’s avoided a full blow up. Just as they're about to separate, he almost pushes but bites his tongue knowing it isn’t a good idea. Monty saves him the trouble.

“Mondays and Wednesdays I work after summer school. Be here Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’ll let you know the time later, depends on who I have last period those days. The rest we’ll decide on later.”

“Sounds good.”

He waits until Monty’s safely away to try to figure out if he should be happy he got somewhere, upset that two days out of the week doesn't mean much, or something in between. He guesses he’ll take what he can get and should just be happy with it. Maybe if he can not annoy Monty enough they’ll end up turning those maybes into yeses more often...and even if they don’t it’ll save him the trouble of making up excuses to Zach, Bryce, Jess, Clay, basically everyone. He knows he can’t pull Monty into stuff with some of them, and doesn’t want to where Jess is concerned. Zach doesn't like Monty, Clay hates him, and Bryce is already weird enough with who he’s hanging out with. 

No...this has to be somewhat a secret and that makes him feel dirty, like he isn’t brave enough to be friends with him in public and so he doesn’t deserve to be friends with him at all. He consoles himself with the weak excuse that he and Monty may have the same friends but aren’t really friends with each other. They’ve always needed others around to lessen the amount they have to interact with each other directly. It’s true and until recently, very recently, he’s never imagined that he and Monty could interact pleasantly without someone around as a buffer. It’s weak but it’s a reason. He doesn’t want to threaten this newfound sense of contentment between them and that may very well involve it staying in the shadows. It still feels like a betrayal, but a betrayal of what he isn’t sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the penultimate chapter of this part! Here we have more Justin and Monty with things not going badly between them for once. 
> 
> Next chapter should be out in a week and features the girls to close on a high note and then on to part 4, hope you're all excited!
> 
> Happy reading and a big shout out to de_la_cruz87 for her help betaing this chapter!


	19. Accidental Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Circumstances lead to an interesting get together that wasn't planned, wasn't wanted, but still somehow works out well enough.

Hannah is happy when he invites her to Rosy's to celebrate the last day of school. Of course he doesn't call it a date and she teases him about celebrating the end of school, apparently amazed he doesn't consider it sacrilege, but does accept the invitation. He decides to take what he can get and meets her at her locker after last period. The walk over is hot but they hold hands anyway. He feels like a million dollars. He has _Hannah_ holding _his_ hand talking with _him_ about plans for the summer and how much time they're going to spend _together_. He thinks he might have died and gone to heaven and he's okay with that if it's true.

The problem is when they get there...it's packed, full of so many classmates, he's pretty sure it's his first time seeing some. He opens his mouth to ask her if she wants to wait when he spots Justin and Jess sitting in a booth together. Justin has a stupid expression on his face, somewhere between pure bliss and a lingering shock. It’s his typical expression with Jess and something he asked Zach about, mostly curious but Zach only replied that he didn’t think Justin had ever really been in love before Jess and that part of him may never stop being surprised that she feels the same way. It wasn’t much of an answer but it was something.

He nudges Hannah and points. "We could join them? Or we could wait if you'd rather." He's starving, 'half days' are the worst cause they aren't really half but bringing lunch always seems like a waste until he wants to die from hunger by seventh period and then he feels dumb for not remembering from last time. Tony thinks he's dramatic, Justin brings lunch, Hannah teases him. None appreciate the problem and Justin even accused him of being stupid for not bring something to eat despite going through it each time, Tony rudely called him a mule. He isn’t stupid, a waste is a waste, he just needs a bigger breakfast...and to remember the lesson the next half day.

She doesn't know, looking wistfully over at the table and then at him and then back at the table. He can see the gears turning in her mind but as usual has no idea what thoughts they’re churning out. He hopes it’s something positive because hungry as he is, there’s a long term benefit to be gained here. If Jess and Hannah could be friends again life would be easier on all of them, he and Justin wouldn’t need to coordinate so carefully to avoid them running into each other by accident and maybe they could even hang out and do stuff as a group sometimes.

"Do you think they'd be okay with it?"

He shrugs. "It's Justin, what's the worst he can do? Call me a nerd and then ask for my help with summer homework?"

It isn't Justin she's worried about. They get along very well, especially when the topic is teasing him. He thinks they trade notes on the topic but that would involve Justin taking notes which he doubts the other boy even knows how to do. 

Even when they aren't actively conspiring against him, they still manage to get along pretty well. Justin keeps up with all the gossip Hannah cares about and she's much better at listening to his endless trivia about basketball and occasionally other sports. 

She doesn't look convinced but nods and they approach the table. Justin sees them and waves and Jess turns around. Her smile goes from bright to tight and matches Hannah's.

"Is it alright if we sit with you? There aren't any other tables."

Justin looks at Jess who manages to say, "Sure."

She doesn't look convinced that it is alright and neither does Hannah who quickly slides into the seat next to Justin as if to make sure there's space between her and Jess. 

It's awkward. The tension is obvious as menus are scanned mostly in silence with conversations carried across the table in low voices.

He doesn't get it, whatever Jess did really can't be that bad to still be upset months later but he decides not to say anything. 

After orders are taken and drinks given out Justin launches into a story, seemingly intended for Jess but purposely loud enough for them all to hear. It's funny, of course it is, Justin's an amazing storyteller. Of course Clay doesn't exactly appreciate being a part of the story and being made out to be the villain, if Justin doesn't want to get sprayed from the spray bottle like a bad cat, he shouldn't leave his clothes on the floor. He can't help but shudder when Justin reminds him about the water balloon revenge he suffered through. Somehow Justin didn't even get in trouble and he doesn't appreciate the added insult of the other boy trying to mimic his facial expressions, no matter what he claims, they aren't accurate.

It has some amount of success because Jess laughs, clearly she's in league with Justin, but Hannah also giggles at the faces. He doesn't want to admit it but he is a little relieved at some of the tension lessening. 

From there it gets easier. The girls loosen up a little and while they don't directly talk to each other, they also don't pointedly not talk to each other. It's a start and it's enough to relieve the tension so much that they spend three hours together in the booth. Justin polishes off a disgusting amount of food, he and Hannah go through half the milkshake flavors on the menu, and Jess gets her money's worth of bottomless fries. More importantly, he laughs harder than he has in a while and so do the others. Justin entertains and performs of course but Hannah's sarcasm is on display, Jess tells a few stories about Justin, and he contributes enough to tie them all together.

By the time they leave Jess and Hannah are willing to look at each other and even talk to each other. He thinks it's because they aren't alone with each other but even then it's a start and he'll take it. 

They split up outside the diner, him and Hannah going one way, Jess and Justin another. He casually tells the pair he'll see them around and reminds Justin to be home early since Mom and Dad have some kind of announcement, probably plans for a trip but he has no idea where to.

While he's saying this the girls exchange their own good byes, tense but not as bad as their greetings several hours ago. As he and Hannah start the walk towards her house he doesn't mention that he's beyond elated. This could be the beginning of something great, him and Hannah, Justin and Jess. They don't have to do everything together but overlapping occasionally won't be so bad. Maybe as the girls get more used to seeing each other they can even do this sort of thing more often. Hannah casually mentioned something about a laser tag place opening up, strongly hinting a desire to go. If he goes with just her, she'll cream him and never let him live it down. If all four of them go he'll probably get her on his team and they can easily mop up the dream couple...actually they'll probably be too busy kissing to play the damn game.

The more he thinks about it, all of it not just the satisfaction of creaming Justin at something physical, the more the summer suddenly seems even more promising. Actually it could be perfect, him and Hannah and when not thay, him and Tony and Justin. Two whole months, well minus whatever time they're on vacation, to do whatever they want. Endless possibilities, all ready to be had and re-had. It's exciting, thrilling even, like the world is opening up and nothing can close it again. This summer will be perfect and nothing can change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And welcome to the last chapter of this part. Thank you so much to everyone still reading and I hope you've enjoyed the story thus far! I tossed around a few different ideas for how this chapter would play out in my mind and eventually settled on this one which I thought was the most believable. Hannah and Jess aren't friends again so there's some awkwardness but they could be so it ends on what I hope is an upbeat feeling.
> 
> Part 4 is going to be some light-hearted chapters about the summer. Lots of fluff and good times. I have 2 chapters started but nothing finished so I need to get on that! I should finish one for next Friday or Saturday and it'll come out as a new fic so keep your eyes out for that. I won't tell you exactly what it'll be but expect to see Clay, Tony, and Justin for the first chapter!
> 
> As always happy reading and a big thanks to De_La_Cruz 87 for beta reading the chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> And welcome to the first chapter of part 3 of this AU! I'm super excited for this part and I hope all of you are too! For at least a few chapters I'll stick to my usual Tuesday Friday/Saturday update schedule but I may be changing to a weekly schedule depending on how fast I am with writing it. In any case I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments!


End file.
